


Spring Fever

by gadgetsandgizmos



Series: my past, my future [1]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, F/F, It's kind of cute, Smut, Some Plot, confident!bisexual erin, inexperienced!holtz, just a lot of porn, patty and abby are the best friends a girl could want, teacher/student adjacent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-02 15:40:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10221662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gadgetsandgizmos/pseuds/gadgetsandgizmos
Summary: Alternate Universe - Holtzmann and Erin have been taken on a tropical vacation to Hawaii by their best friends (you guessed it, Patty and Abby) to find the cure for what ails them. Holtz is a college student who is dealing with the sting of unrequited love, and Erin is a college professor who is trying to get her groove back after a break-up. A little sand, sun, fruity drinks in coconuts, and you've got the recipe for a smoldering Spring Break.Also, this is a lot of porn (with a minor plot and the occasional funny one-liner because I can't resist).





	1. Just Like Living in Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, faithful readers! 
> 
> This story was inspired by a few things. I've been watching a few LGBT movies on Netflix, trying to deal with some emotional/personal stuff - Bloomington, in particular, piqued my interest. San Junipero from 'Black Mirror' is partly to blame. Kate McKinnon's beautiful face is always to blame, in some way or another because that woman is my MUSE, I swear. Alternate Universes are 100% my jam, and I've been longing to come up with one that could fit inside my beloved GB/Holtzbert fandom, so this is what I'm giving you. 
> 
> Also, please don't read this at work unless you want to be really uncomfortable because it's 'E' for a reason. There's smutty times ahead, friends. Get the cold showers ready. I hope you enjoy, and your feedback/kudos/comments give me life, so I'd love to know what you think and whether or not I should continue. It's really so random, and long, and I hope it's not garbage.

White sand beaches, crystal clear waters, warm sunshine on her skin – none of this was Holtzmann’s cup of tea. Not really, but she understood the reasons behind her best friend’s insistence in getting her out of that _lab_ and away from _work_ and all the stuff Patty had been bugging her to do for months. Spring break was supposed to be just that – a break – and since the blonde rarely made time for a social life outside of study groups and random trips to the library that ended up being more social than she’d originally intended, she had a decent bit of money saved up. Tucked away, ‘for a rainy day’, as she liked to profess whenever anyone asked her if she was going to do anything with her free time. Thanksgiving and Christmas were spent at school, in her dorm room, where Holtz caught up on her reading, on a few extra credit projects that weren’t necessary since she already had a perfect GPA and was in the top standing for the entire college, and she wasn’t even in her senior year. Soon, she thought, so there was no time to get lax, but everyone said that ‘Senioritis’ would catch up to everyone, even her, but what they didn’t understand was that Holtzmann _loved_ her work.

 _Loved_ it.

So, while her friend’s intentions had been good, it was hard for her to displace thoughts of work – or, rather, all the work she could have been doing if she’d just stayed back in Pittsburgh – and relax. Patty was good for finding the fun, and they’d already found some of it at the luxurious, Hawaiian resort, but it wasn’t the kind of fun her boisterous friend _thought_ she should be having. Patty had never been the collegiate type, and that was just fine with Holtz – she loved the older woman anyway, and firmly believed that college didn’t make sense for everyone – but the kind of fun Patty liked to have had always been difficult for the aspiring engineer to wrap her brilliant mind around. She’d never been suave and charming, effortlessly sociable, the kind of person who could draw a crowd in seconds, and she sure as shit felt nervous when she did anything to warrant the attention of an entire room, but not Patty. No, Patty _thrived_ and blossomed when she was under the spotlight, with people crammed around to hang on every word of her endlessly entertaining, colorful stories that were as large as life, just like Patty.

They were at the resort for six days.

“Six magical days,” Patty said, first thing when they’d stepped off the airplane, gazing around the idyllic surroundings and adjusting their sunglasses because they were used to Pittsburgh, not paradise.

After they’d checked into their hotel, they’d made a quick game plan of all the things they wanted to do, but were careful not to book a real itinerary or anything like that, because both women functioned best when there was a little bit of spontaneity. Patty, Holtz knew, would want to hit as many dance clubs, live music events, buffets, and bars as possible but she… well, there was a _water slide_. A water park, actually, and it was calling her name. They went there first, and Patty was a bit dismayed at how many _kids_ and _families_ were there, at that location, instead of all the hot, attractive, single men she’d been scoping outside the various other spots they’d passed on the way. Still, she let Holtzmann have her fun, and even went into the massive wave pool at her best friend’s side, laughing raucously when the blonde splashed around and snuck up on random people while humming the _‘Jaws’_ theme.

The daytime was for play, Patty said, but the night was for pleasure.

The thought alone made Holtzmann shiver, and not in a good way.

Before they’d embarked on this journey, she’d gotten hung up. Puppy love, really. But it was the painful kind of unrequited puppy love – puppy love for a _straight_ girl – that ended up sucking her in too deep, found her risking too much, and for nothing more than a platonic hug and gratitude for her friendship at the end of the day. Holtzmann didn’t hold it against Catie – she couldn’t help her sexuality any more than the blonde could help hers – but apparently, she’d done a lot of ‘leading her on’ that Holtz hadn’t realized when she was doing science papers that weren’t for her own classes and staying up late to help her study instead of sleeping and always, _always_ being there when some boy broke the other woman’s heart. She’d wanted to be the one to pick up the pieces, that knight in vintage plaid that would swoop in and save the day, make Catie realize that she was so, so precious and deserving of real love, true love, the kind of love that someone with a heart like Holtzmann’s could provide, if only she was given the chance.

That chance never showed up.

Opportunity never knocked.

And Catie ended up in a serious relationship with some guy that Holtz knew wouldn’t appreciate her, but there was nothing she could do about it. And, furthermore, Patty was damn determined not to let her fall back on someone’s hook only to get her heart broken as soon as Catie said ‘jump’ again.

When the sun went down, Holtz could still smell a lingering aroma of coconut oil and sunscreen, because she’d slathered herself in the stuff, knowing that she didn’t see much sunlight when she was cooped up in classes and her lab, and her fair complexion never helped matters. Just a little sunlight went a long way, and before she knew it, she was a brilliant shade of lobster. Fortunately, her diligence had paid off, and maybe she didn’t smell like some of the people who doused themselves with pheromone-inducing scents before they went out to bars in the evening time, but she was glad not to be burnt to a less than comfortable crisp.

They’d come straight over to one of the Tiki-inspired bars from the water park, so they were still dressed in similar clothing to what they’d worn before. Holtz had modified her look with a black tank top over her bikini top, but left the neon pink and blue board shorts she preferred to wear as swimsuit bottoms on. Her hair was still damp, curlier than usual, and she pulled it back as best as she could, adopting a look that was frazzled and wild, but… suited her, somehow. Patty was wearing a colorful, flowery crop top and matching sarong, sandals, and pulled bangles and other, basic jewelry out of her bag to add some sparkle and make her look less like she’d just rolled off the beach, though Holtz supposed that also had its appeal. Patty looked fantastic, she thought, but what separated them was confidence, the air of knowing that success was surely in store and a memorable evening was ahead.

Holtz wasn’t that confident. Nor was she wholly comfortable, but when her best friend had clapped a hand over her shoulder and asked if she was going to be okay, if she knew her way back to the hotel – if she _planned_ on coming back to the hotel – and if she’d be all right with Patty potentially leaving with a hot stranger, Holtz had nodded, reassured her friend that she wouldn’t get hurt feelings, and could fend for herself.

Patty hoped Holtz would fall in bed with some beautiful, exotic stranger.

That’s really what the trip was about.

Holtz’s pesky celibacy.

Once, she’d had sex.

Once, and it had been nothing to write home about.

She hadn’t even been dating the girl – she’d never _dated_ a girl – but it was the end of high school, they were friends, and her _friend_ had been curious about what it’d be like to kiss another girl. Holtz had obliged her, and things escalated. It was messy, fumbling, quick, and over before she could even process what was happening. After that, she’d lost herself to college applications and college, studies, her future, all the practical things that would bolster her in the direction she knew she wanted to go; it was a path that could be rather solitary, she knew, but fulfilling because she’d be doing what she loved, and maybe when everything fell into place, she’d have the time to meet someone who could love _her_.

It had been four long, _long_ years of celibacy, and Holtz had gotten good about not letting it get under her skin, but sometimes she got her hopes up and met a girl that made her think twice about focusing one-hundred percent of herself on her studies, but it never panned out. Maybe it was for the best, she’d think, and then she’d meet another girl with bright eyes and a pretty smile who would let her touch linger on the blonde’s shoulder and brush down her forearm and coo _You’re so smart, Holtzmann_ and _I can’t believe you’re single_ and _God, you make me laugh so hard it hurts_ and she’d just want to ask them out, be brave, but deep in the back of her mind, she knew they’d say no. They always did.

So she had her robots.

She had her perfect fucking GPA.

She had a best friend that adored her.

She had a chance of getting into NASA once she graduated, having the career she’d always lusted after but never thought was possible for some foster kid who had spent her life hopping around ‘the system’ to attain.

And now, she was in paradise, outside of her element at a fancy resort with bars that served cocktails out of coconut shells and put _umbrellas_ in them, so maybe she could put herself out there, just a little, and try to make the most of the week.

 

* * *

 

 

It had been _years_ since she’d gone to the bar solely for the sake of getting drunk and maybe, just maybe, meeting an attractive stranger to occupy her bed.

“The best way to get over someone is to get _under_ someone else,” Abby said before they made their way to the Tiki bar, dressed to the nines, arm-in-arm, a couple of women in their early thirties ready to lay the world bare at their feet and take all it had to offer. “Now let’s go get you that someone, huh?”

Erin was glad that she had such a supportive, amazing best friend.

Her last relationship had been one of those whirlwind dynamos that burned hot and _fast_ and relentless in the beginning, but somewhere along the line it turned comfortable, stagnant, and then there was resentment, fighting, and eventually compromise. As soon as she started compromising who she was for her ex-boyfriend, she knew the relationship had likely become something she didn’t want to stay in, but she’d spent so many years struggling with self-confidence that she’d stayed away, she’d tried to find ways to fix what was broken, throwing herself heart and soul into repairs that turned out to be just like putting a Band-Aid on a seeping bullet wound. Messy, tricky, and eventually impossible.

Once they were inside the bar, both women did a quick scope of the area. Abby was here to do her own fishing, as well, so they’d made a pact back at the hotel that once they picked their ‘spots’ for the evening, they’d meet for brunch the next morning to appropriately – or inappropriately, which was the more likely scenario – dish about how their nights had gone post-separation. Steel drums and a steady, island-flavored beat seduced them into the heart of the bar, and Erin could feel her pulse throbbing pleasantly, and she hadn’t even gotten a buzz going. It was becoming more and more apparent why people sought out tropical, exotic locations for revitalizing getaways. When Abby had first suggested they take time off work and _go_ somewhere for Spring Break for a change – they were both workaholics, plugging away at various lesson plans until the wee hours of the night – and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect since Erin was hot on the heels of a break-up from her two-year relationship.

She didn’t want time to mope, she said, and it would be so much easier to get over Garrett if she just took her mind off him, off what they once had and what could have been, because she knew, deep down, the break-up was for the best. It was what was best for both because she was working toward a tenure track at Columbia, with Abby, and they joked about growing old together, anyway. What did they need relationships for? Sex, however, was a different story, and God, did Erin miss sex. Toward the end of their relationship, even that had gotten stale, and it used to be _so good_ , but she hadn’t even wanted to be in the same room with him for the last few months, which meant no sharing a bed, and certainly no hanky-panky.

“Dockers and a blazer, six o’clock,” Abby suggested, her dark-lined eyes and long lashes fluttering as she tilted her head in the direction of someone tasty, apparently, Erin noted from the tone in her voice.

“You don’t even have a drink yet, Abby!”

“So? You want him, or should I make him buy me one?”

“He’s… kind of stuffy.”

“Gilbert, you are the _definition_ of stuffy. I had to make you leave the tweed at home!”

“I’m trying to get away from that, though, remember?” Erin gestured at her current ensemble, a black wrap dress that clung in the right places and flowed in others. She coupled it with earth-tones in her make-up and strappy black heels that accentuated the impressive tone of her legs.

“Fine. I’m gonna go reel that fish in. How about the girl in the red dress, near the torches?”

Erin looked slightly off to the right of Dockers and a Blazer and saw the next ‘target’ Abby had singled out because her best friend really was good at this little game they were playing. The woman was curvy, stacked, but not overly so. She had a pretty smile and long, dark hair that fit perfectly with the creamy, caramel color of her skin.

“Island girls are pretty hot. Maybe she could show me a few hidden locations,” Erin purred.

“Well, go get her, tiger!” Abby whooped and swatted Erin on the ass before she made her way toward the guy she still had in her sights, and Erin shook her head.

“In a minute, I’m gonna go get something to drink first.”

“Suit yourself, but pretty like that doesn’t stay unattached forever, Erin. These are hunter’s grounds.”

Bodies were starting to meld together and Erin lost sight of Abby after a few minutes, but she never really worried about her friend in these sorts of situations; Abby had been happily single for a very long time, and when she needed to get an itch scratched, she never seemed to have difficulty in taking care of it without any assistance on Erin’s part. It was her friend’s independence that sometimes made her wonder if her deep-seated need to be part of a couple was holding her back, but she just got so lonely sometimes, and it was nice to feel like you could share your life with someone. Unfortunately for her, that usually meant choosing someone that seemed suitable and getting her hopes too high, only to have them come crashing down just in time for her to re-evaluate all the years she’d lost by settling. She was 31, not old by any stretch of the imagination, but she wasn’t getting any younger.

Finally, Erin made her way to the bar and caught the eye of the bartender, who greeted her with a slow, simmering smile that was more than friendly, but she also knew he was probably mindful of how to make extra tips off women just like her.

“What can I get you, gorgeous?”

“Malibu and pineapple, please,” she said, then left cash for the drink on the bar while he quickly mixed her drink – with a very heavy pour – and served it to her in one of the coconut shells with an umbrella and a two neon pink straws that might have even been bendy.

“Embracing that island flavor, hmm?”

“Something like that.”

When she looked back toward the girl in red, Erin noticed that she was surrounded by two guys, one of whom had his arm slung low on her waist, and was heading toward the dance floor. She wasn’t disappointed; there were plenty of fish in the sea, and Abby had been right – it was smart to strike while the iron was hot, especially when the nights were hotter and the alcohol flowed freely. She settled in at the bar, carefully tucking her clutch under her arm as she took the first sip of her drink, then scanned her surroundings again. For a moment, she hadn’t even noticed there was anyone seated next to her, but then she saw a curly blonde head of hair that was styled… curiously, but still somehow adorably, and eyes that were face down toward the bottom of her coconut glass. Just staring.

“Hey, are you all right?”

Erin didn’t want to disturb someone who didn’t want company, and there was something standoffish or shy about the blonde that she couldn’t pin down, but it was a party kind of place, not one you’d think someone would choose to drown their sorrows.

“Oh, me?” The blonde’s voice was husky, darker than she anticipated, and when the woman looked up at her with brilliant blue eyes that could put the Pacific to shame, Erin was taken aback. There was innocence there, wide-eyed curiosity, and a little bit of confusion, almost as if she couldn’t fathom why someone had singled her out for conversation.

“Yes, you.”

“This is… really strong,” she said, motioning to her drink. “I got it ‘cause it’s called a Shark Bite which seemed cool – _sharks_ , yunno - and I couldn’t even taste the _booze_ in it, but let me tell you—“ she leaned in, and Erin could smell a gentle breeze of coconut and sunscreen. “There’s _definitely_ booze in it.”

The last part was sent to her as a conspiratorial whisper, and maybe the woman wasn’t experiencing more than a light buzz now, but she was well on her way, and Erin wondered why that would inspire such aberrant behavior for a young, attractive person on vacation, for Spring Break, likely, in Hawaii.

“Now I wish I had been more daring. I just got my standard,” Erin said, gesturing to her own drink.

“What’s that? I don’t really drink much.”

The blonde hiccupped, covered her mouth, and gave Erin an even wider, apologetic look seconds later.

“Malibu and pineapple? Ever tried it?”

“Can you taste the booze?”

“Hardly.”

Erin slid her glass over to the blonde, not even caring that they’d just met, and waited for her to take a sip through one of the pink straws. She smacked her lips, stroked her chin as if she was doing some grand, scientific experiment, then loosed a little hum that made the professor smile.

“S’good. Not as much alcohol. You won’t get drunk as fast. Smart lady,” the blonde retorted with a cheeky grin that showcased two deep, perfect dimples in her cheeks.

“Hey, you dove in head first with… your Shark Bite? That’s impressive.”

“I just turned 21 a few months ago, so my palate for alcohol is currently in development,” she replied, and Erin’s jaw dropped a little. She’d guessed that the blonde was young, but _ten_ years younger?

“I think you came to the right place to explore,” Erin said, wondering why she didn’t feel… worse about checking out the younger female like she was. It was subtle, the slow descent of careful eyes that had learned how to check people out from a distance, without being seen, over numerous years of practice. The neon-colored board shorts suited her, and the black tank she wore was basic, but alluring in that showed off gently defined biceps, shoulders, and broad expanses of perfect, blemish-free pale skin that looked ridiculously soft and touchable.

“That’s why my best friend dragged me here. _We gotta break you outta that shell, Holtzmann!_ ” the blonde said, doing a gruff impersonation of what sounded like a rather vibrant individual. She even had hand motions to go along with her impersonation, and the professor was charmed.

“Holtzmann?”

“Yeah. That’s, um, me. Everyone calls me Holtzmann. Or Holtz. Holtzy, sometimes. I don’t like my first name so much. It’s not awful, but it’s just… it never sounds right, you know, from other people,” the blonde explained.

“What’s your first name?” Erin asked, her brow arched as she leaned in a little closer.

“Shit. Well. I guess that’s a logical enough follow-up, isn’t it? I opened this can of worms, and now I have to lie in it,” Holtzmann said, rattling off a phrase that was a jumble of two clichés that already existed and did _not_ belong together in a way that, somehow, made perfect sense. “It’s Jillian.”

“Jillian,” Erin said, her voice dropping to a sultry purr as she caressed each letter. “I’m Erin,” she said, extending a hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Erin…” Holtzmann gave her name the same treatment, and the professor’s smile brightened. “See, it doesn’t sound so bad when you say it.”

“Really?” She blushed, starting with her chest and working upward to color her cheeks as she met the blonde’s intense, scrutinizing gaze that made her feel like she was being studied, but it wasn’t unpleasant. More, it was a scientific kind of adoration that she understood because she was a scientist, in love with her particle physics and her equations and all that geeky nonsense that most people didn’t take the time to understand unless they already loved it, too. “I don’t mind calling you Holtzmann, since that’s what you prefer.”

“Okey-doke.”

“Why did your best friend think you need to break out of your shell? If you don’t mind my asking, I mean…”

“No, it’s… it makes sense. Icebreakers are weird, and I don’t really like talking about the weather or where I’m from or whether I prefer cats or dogs, because it’s neither, I like ferrets,” Holtzmann said, her hands flailing a little as if she was trying to use her manic energy to reassure Erin that her chosen line of questioning was okay. “I don’t really date. Obviously, right? Big old bundle of nerves right here, and _ha_ —“ she rubbed the back of her neck, trailed off, and tried to collect herself by taking a big, long sip out of her drink.

“So, I liked a girl, but she didn’t like me back, Patty thought it’d be good for me to go somewhere like Hawaii because there are lots of girls who might like me here, I guess… and it’s Spring Break. I was just gonna spend it in the lab, otherwise.”

Of all the parts of Holtz’s ramble she could have focused on, the professor tacked onto the tidbit at the end and wrapped her hands around it, tugging it close with excited eyes and a new exuberance to her words.

“A lab? What kind of lab?”

“It’s not… mine, or anything. The robotics lab, at Carnegie Mellon? I’m a student there,” Holtzmann replied, seeming a little more confident and proud when she mentioned something that clearly inspired her. Erin loved cultivating that kind of excitement in her students, and sometimes it was more of an uphill battle than others, but when true passion met her, there was nothing that felt better, as an educator.

_Jesus Christ, Gilbert, don’t think of her like one of your students because she’s so attractive, and… just… stop._

“Carnegie Mellon? That’s very impressive, Holtzmann.”

“I wanna work for NASA someday,” she said, nodding her head as if it was no big deal, just something everyone aspired to do, and that was grounding. “Build robots in space. What school do you go to?”

Erin almost spit out her drink.

“I’m… not a student, actually. I mean, I’m here on Spring Break, and… you really thought I was a student? You’re not just trying to flatter me?”

“I’m so sorry. Did I offend you?”

“I can’t think of any woman who would be offended by someone younger and hotter than she is thinking she’s also _younger_ than her actual age,” Erin said, dead-pan, but her eyes were kind and she reached across the bar to place her hand over the blonde’s, waiting for recoil, any negative reaction that might show the gesture was unwanted, but none came. “I teach Physics at Columbia University.”

“Do all of your students want in your pants?”

“God, if they do, I’m really glad none of them have told me,” Erin said, punctuating the sentence with a nervous chuckle because sure, some professors… dallied, and it wasn’t ethical, but it happened. “I wouldn’t ever cross that line with a student.”

Erin felt agile fingertips tickle her palm and she realized when she looked at Holtzmann again that she was analyzing the way their hands looked, together, and slid their fingers together a second later. A sigh left the smaller woman and she kept _staring_ for a minute, as if she couldn’t believe her luck, and then she looked back at Erin and the intensity there took her breath away. Little did she know, Holtzmann was weighing her options, deciding on the odds of where bravery and boldness would get her, if she stuck her neck out and risked rejection again, after so many failed attempts in her past. She was guessing numbers and figures, waiting to see if any of them added up. A second later, she spoke.

“I’m glad you don’t teach at Carnegie Mellon. I really love physics.”

The blonde nibbled her bottom lip, and Erin’s eyes were immediately drawn to the motion where she lingered, perhaps too long, before she leaned forward, invading the blonde’s personal space, and shifted her head just off to the side, breathing against Holtzmann’s neck as she, too, decided to be bold.

“Is that your way of saying you want to get in my pants?”

“You’re not wearing pants,” Holtz replied, her voice huskier than it had been during their entire exchange as her hand left the bar and fell on Erin’s thigh, dangerously close to the hem of her skirt, as if the gesture alone was proving her point.

They finished their drinks two seconds later.

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m not really… _fuck_ … good at this, I’ve only done it once before, so if you--- _hnng_ ,” Holtz moaned as Erin’s mouth burned down her neck, kissing and nibbling in all sorts of ways that had the blonde squirming up against her, arching into her hands and her mouth, raising off the bed and falling until every muscle in her body ached and felt overexerted, and they were still _fully clothed_. It was still dark outside, but Holtzmann was reasonably sure that they had been making out for hours.

She was also incredibly glad that she’d left her retainer back in the hotel room.

_Thanks, Patty, for that reminder._

“Does it bother you that I’m ten years older than you?” Erin murmured against Holtz’s collarbones, alternating from one to the other, sinking her teeth into the fleshy hollow of the blonde’s throat, raking teeth along the side of her neck, leaving marks that were darker and rougher than she’d left on someone since she was, well, since she was Holtz’s age.

“No, why would it bother—“

“So why do you think _I’d_ care about any experience you have or don’t have? It’s different with every lover, I promise,” Erin said, dragging the palms of her hands, flat and smooth, underneath Holtz’s tank top and caressing her abdomen, delighting in the way muscles jumped against her tentative, teasing movements. “Besides, I’m happy to show you. _Teach_ you…”

Holtz hissed, feeling a new spark of flame ignite in her belly and travel to the apex of her thighs where she was _throbbing_ , nearly nuclear with radioactivity as she quivered underneath the redhead’s ministrations that were so sure, so calculated, an expert touch that already seemed to know how to unravel her, as if she’d decoded all Holtz’s secrets within seconds of having their first kiss.

 _“Erin,”_ Holtz groaned, her head falling back against the pillows as her hair – which had been taken down and lovingly tended to to ensure tangles didn’t occur by her soon-to-be-lover – fell behind her, fanning out underneath her. Erin had her knees positioned on either side of the blonde, and she moved up to a kneeling position as she snuck hands between them, moving to the tie that kept Holtz’s board shorts secure, and worked it free in seconds, making quick time with the tight knot as if it posed no trouble at all. She tugged, just enough to get the garment to sit underneath chiseled hip bones and pushed up on the blonde’s tank, giving her a whole new canvas of space to explore with her hands, her fingernails, her mouth – that hot, talented mouth and sticky gloss lacquered lips that made Holtz feel like she was _melting_ into the sheets beneath her.

“Are you okay?”

The professor’s voice was soft, gentle as she stopped after a particularly loud moan from the petite blonde beneath her. Blue eyes that were just a stitch darker than Holtz’s gazed up at her, brow crinkled low as she studied the younger woman, making sure before she continued her carnal journey of discovery.

“I’m awesome,” Holtz assured her, words a breathy sigh that she expelled to the Heavens.

“We can stop any time, you know,” Erin continued. “Any time. If anything’s uncomfortable, too much… not _enough_ , just say something. Promise me?”

“I promise. Now… what about my lessons, _Professor_?” Holtzmann wasn’t sure if that had crossed a line – Erin had said she wouldn’t sleep with her students – and she winced when fingernails sank into her inner thighs, like claws, and the redhead on top of her groaned and nuzzled the skin of Holtz’s stomach, nibbling around her navel.

“Let’s see how good you can be for me first, and then I’ll tailor a lesson plan just for you, _Jillian_ ,” she replied, testing the blonde’s name again and delighted in the whimper it earned her as a reply.

 

* * *

 

 

Erin was the first woman to ever taste her, and Holtz was nervous at first, embarrassed even, worried, but the sound that left her lover was unmistakably overjoyed when she licked experimentally at first, drawing the blonde’s wetness into her mouth, rolling it on her tongue in a way that looked positively pornographic, but so hot Jillian wanted to claw out of her skin because she was _sweltering_ and maybe even close to death.

 

After the professor got her first taste, she was relentless.

 

Her tongue was everywhere: sucking and battering Holtz’s clit with back and forth strokes that made her head swim, deep inside, curling up against all the sweet spots she had yet to discover with her own fingers, shallow thrusts that flickered against her entrance, up her thighs just to be a tease, and for a minute, Holtz wondered if it was a game Erin was playing, if the older woman even intended to let her come at all.

 

The thought electrified her.

 

The notion that she was helpless _destroyed_ her. Holtz was completely lost to the pleasure that she was finally, _finally_ experiencing from a woman with some sexual know-how who _wanted_ her and not only wanted her, but seemed to need her by the way she continued, hungrily devouring her like she never, ever wanted to stop.

 

She was okay with waiting, she thought.

 

She could live on this edge of bliss forever.

 

* * *

 

 

“Please, _please_ …”

“Use your words, Jillian.”

“What if I don’t have any?”

“You’re a brilliant roboticist. You’re going to work for NASA, _baby_ , you’ll think of some. Or you won’t come until you _do_ ,” Erin promised, and her words were delicious venom as they coaxed a trail of euphoria over Jillian’s skin.

“ _Erin_ …”

“Better, but not quite.”

Hips rocked up, and strong hands were there to catch them, gripping tight and easing her back down against the bed as Erin readjusted, fluttering feverish kisses up and down Jillian’s thighs. She kissed the inside of her knee, down the lines of calf muscles that were straining as her toes curled into the messy, rumpled sheets. She ignored the wetness, a mix of feminine slick and the remnants of Erin’s kisses that pooled between the blonde’s thighs, dripping onto the sheets, because Erin Gilbert was nothing if she wasn’t _stubborn_ sometimes, and watching Holtzmann ache and cry for her, so close to begging that they both could taste it, was worth holding herself back even if the professor knew exactly what she wanted.

She knew what they _both_ wanted, but it wasn’t about her.

“I need you _inside_ me,” Holtzmann finally pleaded, her voice a raspy whisper that sounded broken and strong. So strong, because her jaw set into a hard line, and she looked Erin directly in the eyes when she said it, and Erin could feel something inside her imploding, a part of her that had been untouched her entire life. She crawled up the blonde’s body, eager to make good on her promise to deliver if Holtz found her words, and she kissed her smaller companion thoroughly, a languid slide of their tongues together so Jillian could taste herself, and then she pressed a hand between them, not even bothering to tease – she’d done quite enough of that – and then pushed two fingers _deep_ , swallowing Jillian’s moan like she had been starving for it.

 

* * *

 

 

Even though Erin was dying to fuck the blonde senseless, there would be a time for that, she hoped, a little later.

First, she was tender.

She seared the memory of her touch inside the blonde, curling and stroking against walls that pulsed and clenched around her slim digits. Erin left her mark there, coaxing a powerful orgasm from Jillian’s lips like ancient hymns, like prayers to the Gods and Goddesses above, to the stars and the moon. It was powerful, a potent culmination of everything Erin had ever wanted, but had never gotten close enough to touch, and it felt _insane_ to think that something like this could happen here.

But oh, wasn’t this supposed to be paradise?

Jillian shuddered against her, and for someone so vibrant and loud, Erin marveled at how quiet and serene she was when she was lost to the throes of pleasure. Her moves were leonine, a slow arch of her back against questing digits that continued to build and build slowly, a temperate pace that found them in the space between heartbeats, even as their hearts threatened to break their chests. Blunt nails sank into her shoulder, leaving red lines in their wake, and Erin shivered at the contact, biting back a moan because she wanted to hear Jillian’s, loud and clear.

Long, lean legs wrapped around Erin’s hips suddenly, heels dug into the small of the professor’s back, and Jillian arched skyward to draw Erin deeper while her abs trembled and shivered and head tilted back. For a moment, Erin’s thrusts stilled, breaking their rhythm because she just wanted to _watch_ this magic happen.

Jillian came, low and long and bright like a shooting star.

Confirmed: this _was_ paradise.

 

* * *

 

 

Afterward, Jillian rested with her head on Erin’s chest, ear to her heartbeat, and nuzzled warm and snug under soft sheets, pressed against every inch of the redhead she could manage. A leg was thrown over the professor’s hip and her fingertips traced circles, lazy patterns, on Erin’s lower stomach. Erin toyed with wayward blonde curls, threading them through her fingers and twisting as she sighed with happiness, her chest feeling like it was full to bursting. She was still painfully aroused, but not insistent.

They needed a minute – had _earned_ a minute to bask, and she still wasn’t sure how or when her new lover would respond.

“I’m gonna pay you back, you know. Just need a minute.”

“You take all the minutes you need. That one took a lot out of you, didn’t it?”

Jillian nodded and blushed.

“I’m not used to it. I mean… I _handle_ myself, when I need to, but I don’t need to a lot…”

“It’s okay, Jill. You’re young, you’ve got plenty of time to explore yourself and let others explore you, to figure it out. This is all new,” Erin sighed, pressing a tender kiss to the blonde’s forehead. “I remember when it was all so very new to me, too. You never forget your firsts, you know?”

“This is the first time I always wanted,” Holtz confessed.

“This can be whatever you want it to be,” Erin whispered, slowly leaning down to capture Holtz’s lips in a slow, tender kiss that smoldered, but only for a second before both women sighed against each other, hands starting to move again of their own accord, tracing curves and planes and soft, soft skin.

“So can it be my turn to explore you, now?”

Holtzmann’s grin turned cheeky in seconds, and the gentle heat of the moment turned into a rolling boil. Erin groaned and nodded emphatically, just seconds before Jillian slid down her body and urged long, smooth legs over her shoulders like a pro.

“You seem confident,” Erin murmured.

“How can I not be confident when I have the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, naked, waiting for me to taste her?”

 

* * *

 

 

Erin learned that Jillian was a quick study.

She was intricate, with her movements, testing and teasing like she was doing calculations over Erin’s body, experiments with her nerves and skin.

Whenever Erin sighed, moaned, gasped, the blonde took note, tried it a second time to see if the motion yielded the same results or something different, stored it away, and then moved on. The professor could swear she could see the gears turning in the blonde’s head as she made little notes along her body with kisses and fingertips that pressed, needy, against her – harder and rougher and _more_ than she’d ever known even with long-time lovers who should have known her, but apparently didn’t.

She’d had good sex before.

She had years, practice, _experience…_

But it was beginner’s luck and an engineer’s mind that tore her apart and wrecked Erin Gilbert beyond what she thought she had the capacity to feel, pleasure wise.

Jillian took her to the _moon_ and let her taste the stars when her tongue lapped between her thighs, never hesitant, because the younger woman _wanted_ this so badly. Erin’s hands threaded in her blonde mane again, tugging gently as Holtz curled and flicked, testing the dexterity of her tongue and tried out how different patterns, different variables of speed and pressure would make the older woman bend and _bow_ to her, how she’d pull taut like a bow string and then fall soft like a feather against the sheets in a matter of seconds.

 

* * *

 

 

Though her lover was full of youthful exuberance, Erin still occasionally gave her directions, not because she _needed_ to, but because Jillian _liked_ her to – she enjoyed the commands, the praise.

“Two fingers, Jill, _hard_ ,” Erin told her, and whimpered when the blonde responded like the crack of a whip, immediately punishing in all the right ways. She added a swirl and a flicker inside the professor, and that was _new_ and so, so good.

“Like that?”

“Mm, _love_ that,” Erin responded, caressing the blonde’s cheek as the younger woman sped up her pace, and then slid in a third finger, stretching her and filling her. Erin wrapped her legs around Holtzmann’s waist, just like the blonde had done to her before, because she knew this angle would let her go deeper, further, and she was already blessed with such long, agile fingers that it was _perfect._

Their eyes locked, and Erin sensed hesitance in her eager lover, and felt like they were teetering on something, something that was maybe a final thread of resolve, a last-ditch effort that maybe she’d be rejected, but the redhead wanted Holtz to be her complete self, her true self, and if sex wasn’t a way to express that, she couldn’t think of many better options.

“ _Fuck me_ , Jillian. _Please_ ,” Erin begged, and seconds later, she knew she wouldn’t need to give any more directions. That was the one, the last one, the blonde needed.

And then everything went dark.

 

* * *

 

 

She heard the roboticist’s name echoing off the walls of her hotel room, ragged and breathy, and it barely registered that it was _her_ voice making those sounds.

Their bodies slid together effortlessly, a light sheen of sweat causing delicious friction as they made love until the sun rose, until their bodies were exhausted and limbs were heavy, and even then, they didn’t want to sleep.

They had each other in every way two brilliant minds could devise.

They had each other in ways each of them had been longing to express because this was a safe space where they were free to explore, and they might have been strangers, but there was _trust_ there, when all was bare and quiet and they were alone, together, away from home where nobody knew them and they could just exist on the breath of something greater than flesh and blood.

Erin’s eyes were bleary when they looked at the clock when the sun peeked over the horizon. Brunch with Abby. She groaned.

“We should take a power nap or something – I’m sure you’ve got things to do today.”

“I could do you for the rest of the week and be absolutely fine with that level of productivity,” Jill said, her words soft as she kissed the top of Erin’s shoulder.

“Mm, we have friends who will miss us.”

“Then we’ll do the friend thing and… meet for dinner?”

“That sounds like a date, Holtzmann,” Erin said, curious as to whether or not either of them wanted to embark on something that seemed like more than just a one-night stand.

“Yeah, unless you… unless you just wanted tonight,” the blonde said, and her words were so unsure, so much like they had been at the beginning, before anything physical had altered them, that Erin immediately snapped to her rescue before she could tuck herself away.

“It’s technically beyond that, look,” she said, gesturing toward the window. “But I would love to go on a date with you, if you’ll have me.”

Jillian smiled.

“Oh, I’ll have you, Professor. Not for dinner, but maybe for dessert.”


	2. Lay Here With Me in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, THANK YOU for all your kind feedback, kudos, and support on part one. Y'all really know how to make a girl feel special, let me tell you. 
> 
> So, since this is mostly porn (with plot), it's pretty steamy. Like... the last 3/4ths of this is smut. Smutty smut smut. So, maybe don't read at work, or away from people who might wonder about your current state of affairs? I don't know if it's that hot, but I HOPE it is. I had to take a couple breaks while I was writing it, so maybe that's a good sign? 
> 
> Oh! If you wanna know what tracks fueled my sexy scenes - for ambiance, you know - I listened to 'Love on the Brain' by Rihanna and 'Mad Love' by JoJo on repeat. Enjoy!

Rest didn’t come easily for the restless, but the warmth and security of Erin’s body, of slim arms that knew just where to fall around Holtz’s slim waist, was enough to lull her restless mind that was in a perpetual state of mapping out ‘what if’s’ until she finally, _finally_ went into a sort of automatic shut-down mode because she was run ragged and running on fumes. Erin had warned her that they didn’t have much time to sleep; day had already broken when they stopped their ‘sexcapades,’ but the blonde felt remarkably rested when she did stir, woken by the sound of an alarm that the older woman must have set, because she couldn’t recall doing any such thing.

“Jillian,” the professor whispered into her skin, nuzzling her jawline and peppering soft kisses along her cheekbones until the blonde stirred, opening her eyes to the hotel room which was significantly brighter than it had been when they’d fallen asleep.

“Mm, wha’ time issit?”

Erin chuckled and groaned, stretching out her muscles that felt heavy, like they’d atrophied, and useless. She couldn’t recall going that long with a partner in one session at any point of her life – it was the kind of sex one indulged in when they were young – and she wasn’t old by any means, but she was past an age where she thought such a reckless, perfect night would come into her crosshairs. It was a fast-closing window of opportunity, and she was so glad she’d kept her foot in the door before she lost out.

“Nearly ten,” Erin replied, clearing some of the grit out of her voice, which was soft and considerate, easy in that moment where neither of them wanted to break whatever enchantment had surrounded them and seeped into perfection. They’d agreed on a date, later that evening, before sleep had taken them, and that had also caught both women by surprise because they were here with friends and they hadn’t really been looking for an ongoing attachment, even though they were only on vacation for a week. Summer romances could linger, especially in youth, but such short-lived breaks from reality were meant for quick and dirty, for scratching itches, not soothing cracks and edges that both women had been trying to cover – and failing miserably – for most of their lives, up to that point. The timing was wrong, and yet… yet, here they were.

“Shit,” Jillian groaned, sitting up a little bit, propping her back against the headboard and pulling the sheets up to her chest, covering herself even though she still felt no real need for modesty; Erin had seen her, knew her, and had learned parts of her body that she never anticipated a lover would – she’d come back to the professor’s hotel room without expectation of it being anything more than her limited experiences before suggested, and she’d gotten so much more than she’d bargained for in turn. “I gotta go meet Patty in an hour.”

“Yeah, I promised Abby brunch,” Erin returned, and while she was excited to tell her best friend about her successful night, she also wanted to keep some of the magic, some of the mystery to herself, and Abby would _dig_ for details, for dirt, as if this was just a meaningless roll in the sack, something to help Erin blow off steam. She’d be worried if she caught wind of it being anything more because she knew, probably better than anyone, how Erin got _attached_ to things, to people, to matters of the heart that were… messy.

“We’re still on for tonight, though, aren’t we?”

The blonde’s voice was hesitant, as if she expected something to have changed in just a few hours, while they slumbered peacefully in each other’s arms.

“Jillian,” Erin cooed, brushing her thumbs over high cheekbones and the creased lines where dimples lay whenever her new lover smiled. “ _Yes_.”

“’Kay, ‘cause I don’t want you to think you’re gonna make me upset if this is just… it’s temporary, because we’re on Spring Break, and I get that,” Holtz said, and the professor knew she was trying to convince herself, and knew she could step in to say something, anything that might ease the blonde’s brilliant mind, but she knew what it was, too. Erin knew what it _had_ to be, and it wouldn’t do anything but hurt them in the long run if they started lying to themselves just because their night had been…

Beautiful.

Perfect.

The best she’d ever had.

Life-altering.

“We have the week,” Erin said instead, trying to find a gem in a sea of sand, the beginnings of platitudes she could have conjured, realizing that a softer dose of reality was the best in the current situation. “And I want to make the most of it, don’t you?”

A slow-burning grin told Holtzmann the hidden meaning to her words, the truncated ending that she didn’t _quite_ say but meant with every gentle stroke of fingertips against the blonde’s hips, sides, stomach, leading up to full breasts under the sheet where it was bunched tight around her chest.

“Patty _did_ say that she wanted me to feel free to ‘let my freak flag fly’ while we’re here, so she shouldn’t get mad about me running off a lot to be with you…” Holtzmann said, matching Erin’s grin with her own.

“Abby will see it as a green light to hook up with even more hot strangers without worrying about me.”

“So this is perfect,” the blonde nodded.

“We’ve got really good friends. Supportive.”

“Definitely,” Holtz breathed against Erin’s lips as she leaned in for a kiss, neither of them giving a damn about morning breath. If anything, they could still remnants of their night before on each other’s lips, and it made them hunger and ache all over again.

“We should shower, at the very least…” Erin said, trying to be the voice of reason they both clearly needed when the kiss broke.

“I’ll wash your back?”

It was enough to get them out of bed, at the very least.

 

* * *

 

 

Patty was wearing sunglasses – a telltale sign she was hungover, even though they were on an island - when Holtzmann approached the table she’d reserved for them at one of the nicer brunch spots at the resort. It had a buffet, and she knew her girl had an appetite; that, and she was hoping that she needed the caloric intake, that she’d been up late burning the midnight oil.

Her grin was brilliant when she saw the blonde in rumpled clothing, the same outfit she’d been wearing when Patty left her the night before.

“Holtzy, baby girl!”

Holtzmann gave a small bow and a little two-fingered salute as she sidled up to the table and flung herself unceremoniously into the chair next to her friend. Truthfully, the blonde was anticipating a million questions, so she’d been thinking of appropriate – telling, but not _too_ telling – answers for the duration of her walk from Erin’s hotel room to the location Patty had texted her when she got out of the shower. It hadn’t been a long walk, only about twenty minutes, which was enough when a mind worked as hers did.

“Sleep well?” Holtzmann asked her friend, gesturing to the sunglasses and the three empty champagne flutes that had likely been mimosas at one point that were pushed toward the middle of the table.

“Eh, drank too much and passed out on the beach, but it was still a nice sleep,” Patty said, and Holtz chortled. Her friend certainly _did_ know how to party.

“On the beach, Pattycakes? We have a _perfectly_ nice hotel room, beds with blankets and soft sheets and… and a shower,” Holtzmann replied, waving her arms around and clucking like a concerned hen, worried for her friend’s security.

“I wasn’t _alone_ , and I didn’t know if you’d be using it, so it’s cool. You weren’t there when I got in, bright and early, and I did shower, thank you _very_ much.”

The blonde flushed, her cheeks turning red at the insinuation.

“Good for you, personal hygiene shouldn’t be left by the wayside, and especially because we’re in a tropical climate. Besides… you probably got all _sandy_ ,” the blonde retorted, hoping that she could spark something that would get her friend to disclose details about her night and hopefully get caught up in a web of storytelling that would be hilarious and amazing for Holtzmann’s ears, and eventually make her forget all about the fact that she hadn’t gone back to their room all night.

“I’ve had sex on the beach before, who do you think you’re talking to? Patty handles her _business_ , Holtzy,” she responded, her tone leaving no room for arguments, and a wagged finger adding punctuation to the claim. “Now you, on the other hand, my sweet little frosted flake… _you_ not being back at the room this morning tells me you handled some business, too, am I right?”

“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell, Tolan,” Holtzmann replied, tilting her head up skyward and resting a fist against her chin regally.

“On vacation with her best girlfriend, she sure as shit does. Now spill it.”

“I got drunk. Not… gross, frat party, vomiting in hedges drunk or anything. That happening once was too much and _never_ again, trust me. I got tipsy, at the Tiki Bar… and I met a girl.”

“I’m gonna go get us more mimosas, and you’re gonna think of details I don’t know for when I come back,” Patty said, grabbing the empty glasses, standing up, and starting to walk toward a grass hut where the bar was located.

“Patty, wait, no… I… _lightweight_ ,” Holtz groaned, but it was too late. Holtz fished through her board shorts for her phone, which had vibrated once since she sat down, but she didn’t want to be rude about checking her messages while she was with her friend. There was a text from Erin waiting, and for a second, the blonde wondered how the older woman had gotten her number, but then she realized she must have just sent a text to her own phone from Holtzmann’s; it was the logical course of action.

_Can’t stop thinking about last night. Hope you’re having fun with your friend! Xoxo_

Her fingers flew across the keyboard to send a reply.

_She’s pressing me for details and buying me drinks. I’ll try to be sober when we’re on our date tonight._

When the phone vibrated again, Holtz checked to see where Patty was, and saw that she was still waiting on their drinks, back turned to her.

_You’re cute when you’re a little drunk. All kinds of susceptible to my charms._

The wink emoji was partially to blame for her momentary undoing, and Holtz groaned softly at a sea of memories that rushed back in an instant.

_We’ll see if I can’t sweet-talk you into bending a little for me, tonight._

She tacked on the same emoji, thinking that two could play at this game. Right when she read the next response, which was more charged than the last, Patty coughed and got her attention. Holtz looked up, trying to be innocent, her eyes wide and pupils blown.

“Holtzmann, were you just using the _four_ minutes I was gone to buy your ass a drink to _sext_ whoever you were up all night banging?”

“Um… yes?”

“Goddamn, I’m so _proud_ of you!”

Patty hugged her so tightly, the blonde squeaked a little, then clinked their glasses together and decided maybe a few details wouldn’t be the worst thing to surrender.

 

* * *

 

 

“Earth to Erin Gilbert, _come in_ , Erin Gilbert,” Abby said, tapping her fork against the table as she realized her friend’s gaze had dropped into her lap for the ninth time since they’d sat down together.

“Oh, sorry, what?”

“Mmhmm. What’s in your lap that’s so exciting? You sprout a dick or something?”

“Abigail!” Erin pressed a hand to her chest, shocked at how bawdy her friend could be sometimes, but she loved her anyway. In fact, she knew she wouldn’t change a goddamn thing about her best friend. However, now that she’d essentially been caught red-handed, it was time to tell the truth.

“There’s… this girl…”

“Oh? And she’s… trapped in your phone?”

Abby was playing dumb on purpose, Erin knew, trying to pull details out of her with electric strands, with a series of button-presses that they’d learned how to navigate through years of knowing each other. They’d met in high school and been inseparable ever since.

“I was… _texting_ her, because… we’re meeting again. Tonight,” Erin responded.

Abby formed her fingers into a steeple and raised an eyebrow.

“Uh-huh. And this is… G-rated texting?”

Erin blushed, cleared her throat, and reached for her cocktail.

“No.”

“Erin, you’re sexting when I’m sitting right here? Rude. Keep it in your pants, Jesus Christ,” Abby said, erupting into laughter a second later because she wasn’t _really_ mad and they both knew it. They used to share an apartment, once, and she’d learned enough about Abby’s voracious appetite – and vice-versa – that they had enough dirt on each other in that department that nearly nothing was off-limits.

“She’s really wonderful,” Erin said, careful not to gush too much, hoping it would come across as her slightly prudish way of saying that Holtzmann was a goddess in the sack – which she _was_ – instead of insinuating that there were feelings that started to wriggle into what she knew was, or should have been, a no-strings attached sort of entanglement.

“Rocked your world, huh?”

“You were right,” Erin said, clinking her glass against Abby’s and smiling at the other professor. “Best way to get over someone is, in fact, getting under someone else.”

“Always listen to me when it comes to this shit, I’m a Godsend.”

Erin stabbed at her salad, knowing that she needed to give up a little more than that in order to appease Abby, who she could tell was already starting to analyze the silence and figure out what her body language meant. She’d abandoned her phone – Jillian had stopped texting back, and she respected that – but they were here for a reason, and Erin had to hold up her end of the bargain.

“She’s ten years younger than me,” Erin spit out.

“Co-ed? You bagged a fucking _co-ed_?”

“I did. A hot, _smart_ co-ed.”

“What, did you make her recite Newton’s Laws or something while she was on her knees for you, Gilbert? I brought you here to get you laid, you didn’t need to screen for a pedigree.”

“It just came up. She’s a student at Carnegie Mellon,” Erin replied, and Abby looked impressed for a second before she took another sip of her drink.

“At least she doesn’t go to Columbia. Because _that_ could get messy.”

“You _know_ I don’t sleep with my students,” Erin said, because it was a line that Abby would never cross, either.

“I’m not judging. I’m just saying… she must be something for you to even go there at all,” Abby replied, holding her hands up in a way that was equal parts surrender and understanding. “Well, if you’re gonna go out with your co-ed tonight, I’m gonna try to see if I was smart enough to take down Arturo’s number, because that man was _caliente_.”

 

* * *

 

 

Both women had spent their days on the beach, frolicking in the sand, pacing their drinks as best as they could. Erin worked on her tan while Holtzmann tried to find shady spots whenever was possible – she went through an entire bottle of sunscreen – but neither of them stopped looking forward to the evening.

Parting ways with Abby and Patty was bittersweet, but the island was ripe with possibilities for their best friends, and they knew they’d have luck and fun all on their own. Holtzmann had let Patty pick out something for her to wear that evening, _not that she’d be wearing it long_ according to her friend, and decided on a sleeveless, white button-down shirt that flowed nicely with the pair of tan, linen shorts that allowed for mobility and comfort. Her hair was down, in loose, sun-kissed waves that emphasized her natural blonde, and she wore subtle make-up to complete the look. When she saw Erin, however, just outside the restaurant, Holtzmann’s blood sang in her veins. Her jaw went slack, her hands ached, and her entire body responded in a palpable way that was greater than any force of nature, any scientific wonder, anything she’d ever felt in her life.

The professor was dressed a bit more casually, and while it would have been an inappropriate look for dinner anywhere else, it was perfect for their tropical paradise. She was wearing a navy-blue string-bikini top – and nothing else on top – that showcased her bronzed shoulders, her toned abdomen, the slope of her hips, and ended in a flowing, flower-print skirt that she might have bought on the island, for all Holtzmann knew. Her hair was slightly wavy, dense curls that looked touchable instead of crunchy, and her lips were painted red, a darker shade than Holtz usually preferred, but she wanted to find traces of that color all over her pale skin by morning’s first light.

Once they were within arm’s reach of each other, Holtzmann shamelessly looked her date from head to toe and growled, the sound leaving her unexpectedly, but from Erin’s immediate response – a smile that showed laugh lines around her mouth and a sparkle in her eyes – she wasn’t embarrassed by her natural, instinctive reaction.

“I was hungry for food, but not anymore,” Holtzmann confessed, reaching out to place a hand on the older woman’s hip, tracing the soft skin she’d mapped out the night before and yet hadn’t completely committed to memory. Not yet.

“Holtz, we said we were going to go on a _date_ ,” the redhead protested, but barely, as her words left her in a breathy sigh as she arched into the blonde’s touch.

“I know what we said,” she returned. “You just look so _hot_.”

“Your hair is beautiful like this,” Erin whispered, reaching out to toy with blonde curls. She’d seen the co-ed’s hair down, she’d taken it down the night before, but it was different this way. Freshly styled, and for her benefit, and when she saw that it was coupled with _make-up_ , the professor burned and flushed with pride and heat.

“You’re not appropriately dressed for dinner,” Holtz argued.

“It’s an island, Jillian. We’re on an island.”

“So? What if I don’t want other people scoping my date?”

Blue eyes traveled down the older woman’s exposed midriff, and blunt fingernails left half-crescent, possessive marks behind, but Erin didn’t mind.

“As if I’d have eyes for anyone but you,” Erin said. She paused, tilted her head to the side, and stepped further into the shorter woman’s loose embrace. “But I’m not very hungry, either. Not for food, but maybe… dancing?”

“You want me to die of sexual frustration.”

“You’ll absolutely get that taken care of… _after_ you take me dancing.”

Erin shot the blonde a playful wink and threaded their fingers together before pulling the grumbling roboticist behind her, near what appeared to be a beach party where a group of young people had set up speakers and a few small decorations. Parties of this intimate magnitude tended to pop up all over the island during this type of year, and they never needed an invitation, merely the intent to make merry and maybe make some new connections. Most of the attendees were, Erin realized, probably closer to Holtzmann’s age than her own, but she didn’t feel awkward being there. Quite the opposite, actually, it was liberating to indulge herself like this because she did so very infrequently, and the blonde brought out a wilder, bolder side of her without even intending to do so.

When they made their way to the middle of the crowd, they were hypnotized by the rich bass of the current track; it was a slow-jam headed by a female vocalist with sultry lyrics and a pulse to it, one that throbbed like slow, steamy sex. Like sweat and heat and _fire_ in the blood. The song was the auditory incarnation of questing hands and digits that sank _deep,_ drawing out every second of pleasure until legs quaked and shivered, shuddering for just one more trip to the edge. Erin bit her bottom lip and placed her arms around Holtzmann’s neck, gently resting her forearms on the blonde’s strong shoulders while Holtz’s hands found her hips, right near the waistband of her skirt, easing down the lines of her hip bones as they swayed together, ebbing and flowing with the tide, moving to the beat of the song as they kept their eyes locked. Erin pressed her forehead to Jillian’s, and Holtz’s hips rocked forward, pressing her crotch against the cradle of Erin’s hips while they were still standing, and they found themselves panting, more from hunger than exertion because the rhythm was slow and intoxicating, not the type that made you work up a sweat. Their gaze traveled from eyes to lips, back and forth, but they didn’t kiss.

Holtz’s eyes fucked her with every new swipe up and down her body, and Erin felt it like a physical caress. It was almost filthy, to be teetering on the edge like this with twenty or thirty other people in their immediate space, but Erin knew, logically, that all the others were in their own world, hardly paying attention to anything the two of them were doing. Even so, the thrill of being seen like this was exhilarating. There’d be no mistaking what they were thinking, the looks on their faces said it all. When Erin looked into Holtzmann’s eyes, she could see a replay of their previous evening, of how the blonde looked on her knees, how she looked bent over the edge of Erin’s bed, how she whimpered whenever the professor stroked inside her, just deep enough to hit all the spots that were sure to electrify.

“I want to fuck you so bad, Erin. I almost don’t care who sees,” Holtz breathed into her ear, rough gravel in her words as she bit the juncture between the redhead’s neck and shoulder with perfectly straight, white teeth. It was rougher than before and had the same hint of possessiveness that Erin had been introduced to before, when they’d first met that evening, when Holtz got the first look of her that evening after spending almost a whole day apart.

“You really want to fuck me right here, with all these people dancing next to us?”

“Yeah…”

It was a difficult ask, Erin knew, with her choice of wardrobe for the evening because it wasn’t as if Holtzmann could just hike her skirt up around her waist without anyone catching on, but dancing involved friction, and maybe it wouldn’t be _quite_ the kind of fucking Holtz wanted, but _friction_ could be a very good thing, when applied correctly.

They’d never see any of these people again.

 _Fuck it_.

“Come closer,” Erin whispered, her voice low and commanding as she wrapped an elegant hand around the back of Jillian’s neck, under that blonde mane, and skimmed fingernails across the back, teasing. Holtzmann obeyed, rocking her hips forward again, searching, and Erin parted her legs, trying to angle just right so she could get the blonde’s thigh between her legs, enough so her skirt would act as another barrier, just like the thin material of the thong she was already soaking through, and allow her to rock against pliant, firm muscle to seek out her pleasure.

The way they moved together, their bodies pressed tight, Erin’s hips rolling into Jillian’s, made it look like they were just another couple lost to the music, the moment, the magic, and unless someone was looking very, _very_ closely, it wouldn’t be that easy to discern that their dance moves were all so different from the others. Erin groaned into Holtzmann’s ear and dug her fingernails into the blonde’s shoulder blade through the thin cotton of her shirt when the roboticist flexed her thigh, causing a ripple right against her clit.

“ _Fuck_ , I can feel how hot you are, Erin… all for me,” Holtz whimpered in response, her words soft, reverent, grateful.

“Mm-hmm, just dance with me, baby.”

The professor’s eyes fluttered shut for a moment as Holtzmann started getting the concept of what they were trying to do, her beautiful quick study, as always, and moved more insistently, arching and rocking as Erin ground down against her thigh shamelessly. Her biceps strained to keep herself steady on the heels she wore as the pleasure started to build in her core, but as soon as she faltered, strong hands were on her waist, supporting her, guiding her, pressing her harder into the smaller woman’s thigh and Erin tilted her head back, trying not to moan too loudly because the music was loud, but they were also very close to other dancers. Holtzmann’s mouth traveled down the expanse of her neck, down the column of her throat, and licked the sweat and salt and sun from Erin’s skin before she flickered the tip against the hollow of the professor’s throat and sighed, obviously content.

“Holtz,” Erin sighed, threading her fingers into Jillian’s hair and tugging, hard, trying to find purchase wherever she could. A low rumble escaped from the blonde, and for a second, Erin wondered if she’d hurt the other woman, but then she saw the heat in blue eyes and felt a sharp press against her clit, a firmer movement, a rougher upward stroke, and seconds later, she was seeing stars as she crumpled in her lover’s arms, right as the next song was ending. Jillian kissed her, swallowed her cries, tangled their tongues together with blistering ferocity as they battled each other. Erin sucked on Holtz’s tongue, Holtz bit down sharply on Erin’s bottom lip, and when they broke, they chuckled, happy and surprised about what had transpired all at once.

“I really, _really_ like dancing with you,” Holtzmann said.

“I’ll bet,” Erin teased, toying with the buttons of the blonde’s shirt, which she suddenly realized needed to be off. “Let’s get out of here.”

 

* * *

 

 

This time, the two women didn’t make it back to Erin’s hotel room. Or any hotel room.

On their way back, they stumbled upon a rather idyllic cove, and Holtz was struck temporarily by the urge to explore rather than her pre-existing urge to claim the professor until there was no question of where she belonged, or who she belonged _to,_ at least for a little while. For the moment, neither of them wanted to think of what would happen at the end of the week – they were content to live in the moment, with each other, and make the most of every second they were given. It defied scientific logic, but they allowed vacation to sing a rebellious siren song into their hearts in its place, because there would be time for logic and reason and science later – for now, their primary interest was in chemistry. In how they responded to each other like their bodies were bound by some force that was maybe greater than the ones they studied.

“I bet mermaids live here!” Holtzmann yelled as she scampered down a rather steep cliff, sliding on the sand until shallow waves lapped at her ankles and she took off her sandals, keeping them in one hand as she made her way underneath the rocks, inside the cove, just out of Erin’s line of sight. The professor was a bit slower with her descent, a bit more cautious, but with age came caution, and with Holtzmann, she almost threw every ounce of that away. Bodily harm, however, would get her nowhere and she still longed to go _everywhere_ the blonde would let her. Since she knew the other woman was relatively inexperienced, she wondered if she’d ever had sex on the beach before. Erin hadn’t. It was one of the things she had yet to experience, one of the items on her bucket list, and now… now they both had a chance to put a checkmark next to that box, if they played their cards right. Holtz was shining a light – the one from her phone – inside the cove, making random sounds to see if they’d echo in the narrow, restricted entrance.

“Mermaids, Holtzmann, really?”

“I won’t let them steal me from you, don’t you worry,” the blonde promised, turning back to look at Erin for a second, a huge smile on her face, and then she continued, adventurous as ever. Erin quirked a brow, looked around and saw that there was nobody else on the beach; they’d taken the long way back to the hotel, stopping to make out against palm trees and on benches and anywhere they felt like, because they just couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They’d gotten a little lost, but neither of them feared getting lost, it seemed, so long as they were together. “I always preferred Belle to Ariel.”

Of _course_ she did.

Erin took longer strides so she could catch up with the blonde and finally made it so where she was only a few steps behind her. From there, it was two long steps and the smaller woman was in her arms. The professor kissed up to her ear, started unbuttoning her shirt, just like she’d wanted to back at the party, from the bottom up. Her hands rested flat on the roboticist’s flat stomach and Erin nibbled her ear, earning a series of moans and squiggles, squirms that showed promise, they showed that Holtz was _loving_ this, and was putty under her hands.

“So… you want one of _my_ firsts?”

Holtz spun in her arms, pupils completely blown, and nodded furiously.

 

* * *

 

 

Holtzmann’s shirt ended up tossed across the rocks, near the entrance, as Erin writhed on the blonde’s lap. They were both naked and, as it turned out, Erin’s skirt made an excellent impromptu blanket to shield them from getting sand in places neither of them wanted sand. They were careful, to a point, but the reckless heat of the moment, the consuming desire to _take_ and _have_ was enough to make them stop thinking about practicalities as soon as the professor sank down on _three_ of Holtz’s fingers, hissing at the stretch and pausing for a moment because she’d _asked_ for more – she’d _begged_ for it.

It was the good kind of too much, the burn that brought the highest heights of pleasure, and while her body was taking the time to adjust to a wider intrusion, Holtz was so beautifully patient. The blonde kissed her neck and shoulders, rubbed circles over her abdomen with one hand before Erin pushed it lower, encouraging her to rub those same, soothing circles on her clit instead, adding to the slick between her thighs so she could move. The rhythm was like before, just like when they were dancing, and Erin’s movements were so fluid, so graceful, that Holtz’s jaw dropped in wonder as she watched and let the professor do most of the work.

At least, for a little while.

Once her motions became jerky, once strong thighs started to quiver, Holtz started curling her fingers, adding movements of her own hips behind Erin’s downward thrusts, adding intent to their rhythm, wanting to be deeper as she probed and rubbed all the internal ridges of her lover’s sex, finding all those sweet spots that made her tick. Erin’s hands fisted Holtz’s hair, tugging and grabbing, pulling a little too sharply sometimes, but when Holtz hissed with pain, she knew it was just like when she had done so, out of pleasure.

“Holtzmann, I’m so close,” Erin panted out, her eyes meeting Holtz’s in the darkness. The moans and grunts echoed off the walls of the shallow cove, the waves rushed around outside the dry spot they’d found, in the sand a little way up where it was soft but still surrounded by rocks. 

“What do you need? Tell me what you need, Erin, and I’ll give you _anything_ ,” Holtzmann replied, nodding and stroking, searching for some trigger that she had yet to unlock.

“God, I don’t know how it’s even possible, but I need _more_ of you,” Erin groaned, a bit embarrassed of how much she wanted this woman to take, but here she was. Here _they_ were.

“Lay back…”

 

* * *

 

 

It might not have been the most comfortable place she’d ever been fucked, but the rush of being out in nature, out in the wild, with a woman that was equally wild and full of wonder made Erin crazy.

The rocks provided elevation under her hips and Holtz bunched up her shorts, trying to provide cushion beneath and sank into the sand on her knees as she wrapped the professor’s legs around her waist, pulling her hips up away from the sand and water, and positioned four fingers at her entrance.

“Erin, are you sure?”

“ _Fuck_ , just do it,” she groaned, her hands flailing over Jillian’s body, over the rocks, and she knew she’d likely scraped her palms with these rough movements because there was pain, but she was more aroused than she’d ever been in her life and so empty, so empty that she craved a new depth and fullness, a sensation that would take her to a new level, a new height. Jillian could take her there, she knew. “ _Please_.”

Holtz pushed, and it was slow at first, gentle, with her shallow strokes in and out, but Erin’s hips were canting and swaying just like the tide and her muscles were gripping Holtz’s fingers, pulling her deeper, sucking her in.

When she felt Jill’s knuckles brush her entrance, she wailed like a banshee and came, bowing and surrendering to the blonde, giving her all as she cried out, over and over, until she was hoarse. Erin’s fingernails tore into Jillian’s shoulder and she’d feel bad later when she saw the angry, red marks that had once been bloody, but Holtz would laugh it off and kiss her, marking that experience as the hottest in her life.

 

* * *

 

 

Even the brine of the sea couldn’t overpower the sweetness of Jill’s sex when Erin flipped their position and had Holtzmann on the rocks, pinned underneath her, legs over Erin’s shoulders, spread wide to give her all the access she could possibly want.

Where Jillian had accommodated her need for rough and commanding, Erin responded with gentility and painstaking care. Her tongue was slow, languidly tracing the length of Holtz’s slit, drinking in every drop of the younger woman’s essence. Holtzmann brushed errant strands of auburn hair out of Erin’s face, doing her best to keep her line of sight clear so she could watch the older woman work her into a frenzy. Erin’s eyes fluttered closed every now and then, like she was trying to just _feel_ as she feasted on the blonde beneath her. When they opened, blue locked on blue and electricity traveled through them both. Erin’s hands were strong as they held Holtz’s body in place, hands curled around her hips, fingertips splayed up her sides, gingerly tracing the lines of her rib cage, under her breast bone, down her sternum, and everywhere else she could possibly reach.

When those same strong, agile hands found Holtz’s breasts, squeezing gently and taking her nipples between the professor’s thumb and forefinger, rolling them, tweaking, rubbing the sensitive tips with her palms, breezing over them with her fingertips, even raking gently with her nails, the roboticist keened and whimpered, arching forward so hard she almost dislodged the woman beneath her and tumbled off the rocks, but Erin was right there, anchoring her, centering her as she continued her slow, even-keel process that was meant to build to a flourish, unravel her in a bay of light and sound.

“I’ve never tasted anything as good as you,” Erin moaned into the blonde’s skin, nuzzling into the younger woman’s thigh for a moment, a small reprieve, as she smeared the trace of Holtz’s wetness against already damp skin from where she had dripped – because she _was_ dripping – down her thighs.

“You should insure that mouth for a million dollars,” Holtz returned, the only logical sentence she’d put together in the better part of an hour.

“Aww, aren’t you sweet?”

“Hey, you said it, not--- _mm_.”

When she returned to Holtz’s center, she was determined, her strokes quicker, longer, more precise as she lit the younger woman up like a series of chain reactions.

 _Little deaths_ , Erin thought. _Over and over again._

Holtz’s thighs quivered, and her grip tightened in Erin’s hair. She pulled, hard, and pressed the professor’s face against her, bucking her hips against the older woman’s face. At this point, she was too far gone to care about propriety. All she cared about, now, was getting off.

She arched her hips a little higher, thrusting them and bucking, and Erin took the opportunity this presented – Holtz wanton, her thighs spread lewdly, all for her, ripe for the taking – to sink two fingers deep, curling them right as they entered, settling them against Holtz’s g-spot and stroking, quick, tight circles, curling and uncurling.

The rush of sweet fluid into her mouth was more than welcome, a reward for all her efforts. It was the dessert she’d been craving all _damn_ day.

 

* * *

 

 

Holtz was sweaty, flushed, her cheeks red and her chest heaving as she came down to earth. There was a distinctive quiver in her muscles, a weakness in the way she whimpered and curled against Erin, reaching out for her, trying to pull her up, but lacking the strength to do so.

“You’re addictive,” Erin purred, crawling up the blonde’s body and drawing her into her embrace, where they both curled up on their soaked, crumpled clothing and kissed the younger woman’s forehead.

“I’m not going to know how to return to a celibate lifestyle,” Holtz mused.

“Then maybe we just give you enough orgasms to last a lifetime in one week, hmm?” Erin asked, because deep down, she didn’t like the thought of Holtz finding someone else to touch her, to taste her, someone who would learn just how to fuck her and fill her so she screamed. It was reality, she knew, sinking in like a poison, so she pushed that thought to the back of her mind.

“I bet by the time we get back to my hotel room, I’ll be ready to go again,” the blonde replied after a second of silence, nodding as if she liked the idea Erin had suggested.

“Oh, to be 21 again.”

“Don’t think you’re done, either. There’s so much more I want to do to you,” Holtz said, trailing a hand between the redhead’s legs just to see if her lover would respond. Erin didn’t think she could – there was no way she could – but when Holtz found her clit and teased it with a feather-light twitch of her fingers, Erin’s hips bucked and she _sank_ into the smaller woman’s increasingly strong embrace. “Yunno, I changed my mind. You’re gonna give me one more, right here, right _now_.”

 

* * *

 

 

Erin – not to be outdone – made love _with_ Jillian that time, both women rolling around in the waves, hands pressed between them as they brought each other to an explosive climax in the cove’s entrance, right near where the inlet broke and washed out to the tide.

They realized, after, that it was a more visible spot than they had christened before.

But nobody saw them… probably.


	3. Lilac Wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, beautiful people!  
> So, don't let the little taste of angst at the beginning fool you, this is still a 99% smut-fest. This chapter, at least. Next chapter - which is the final for this fic - will be more angsty because hey, the week DOES have to end at some point, doesn't it? However, this won't be the last you've seen from Holtzbert in this little AU I've created; there's more coming around the bend. I should probably slap another NSFW warning on this, 'cause of all the porn, but there's also some stuff that sort of... happened in this chapter that may not be for everyone (quick summary: there's some light power-play aspects and toys, so...). Read responsibly. Sorry about your ovaries/loins in advance. I hope you enjoy!

_God, every part of her is perfection_ , Erin thought absently as her body came down to earth for probably the hundredth time that evening – they figured keeping track would be a fruitless, not to mention exhausting, endeavor. _Her eyes, that hair, her smile, those goddamn dimples_ …

Holtzmann was elegantly crafted, a true work of art, with her graceful limbs and alabaster skin that was without a single mark – save for a few small scars, here and there – and only blemished from the marks Erin had left earlier that evening and the night before. There was so much to adore about this woman, she knew, so much to worship.

 _Her hands_ , Erin decided, as she licked and sucked the last remnants of her own essence off Jillian’s middle and ring fingers. Erin worked her tongue and lips around the slim digits with painstaking care, an infinitesimal slowness that had her young lover whimpering and sighing as her eyes watched, pupils blown, jaw slack in rapt fascination. _Her hands are probably my favorite part of her, if I had to choose a favorite. I could worship these hands..._

“Whatcha thinkin’ about so hard?” Holtz’s voice was raspy and abused; she’d been screaming to the Heavens for hours, begging and crying out for more even though her body almost couldn’t _take_ anymore, and yet they were both still wont to try. The blonde licked her lips and threaded her free hand through Erin’s hair, smoothing out mussed curls that were still damp from seawater. Crunchy, Erin worried, but they had a hotel room to themselves – she’d texted Abby to be sure, in a startling moment of panic and rational thought – and a shower they could occupy if they felt the need.

“You. Your hands. How perfect you are,” Erin said simply, because it was true. All of it was true. It was one of the simplest questions she’d ever had to answer in a lifetime of academia, of lengthy research projects and thesis papers, of questioning the unknown and trying to suss out mathematical equations that put all her colleagues to shame because she was an overachiever of the highest degree.

“Stop it,” Jillian said, blushing as she ducked against the professor’s shoulder, burying her face into the older woman’s neck and finding space to breathe there, pressed against soft, sticky skin that smelled like a mixture of both women. It was hard to tell, now, where one ended and the other began, and Erin decided she liked it best that way. She hoped Holtzmann did, too. “I’m just a student, and you’re… you’re classy, elegant, experienced… so much better than me. In any other part of the world, under any other circumstance, you’d realize you’re so far out of my league.”

Erin sat up and pulled the other woman up with her, wrapping her arms around the blonde’s petite figure because they hadn’t spent much time talking during their two – going on three – day dalliance with each other, but they’d spent some time talking when it was a necessity to stop fucking and they didn’t want to lay in silence. Conversation came remarkably easy, she found, and when they had taken the time to dig a little, it turned out that they had a lot in common, despite their age and difference in career tracks – Erin was more established than Jillian, but she had ten years on her; it was an obvious notion, to the professor, that Holtzmann would be just as far – if not further – than she was when she turned 31. Her success seemed inevitable; it was only a matter of time.

“Holtzmann,” Erin prodded softly, kissing over the blonde’s cheeks and chin, licking at the corner of Jillian’s mouth to taste herself again, finding she was greedy for the proof, the evidence of what they’d been doing. When the blonde didn’t immediately respond, Erin tried again, a little more insistently, but never lacking in patient gentility. “ _Jillian_ , you can’t really think that.”

“I know it’s the wrong time to be serious,” she said softly.

“Yeah, way to ruin the mood,” Erin said, her laughter showing that she was obviously joking, and deep down, she knew – and hoped they both did – that their passion was too heady to ruin in any semblance, by any tangible or intangible force that could try to separate them. At least, until the week was over.

“I should let dead dogs sleep,” Holtz continued, a sigh filling her lungs to such an immense capacity that Erin could feel the roboticist’s small body swell and expand in her arms before she released and managed a smile toward the older woman. “I just never want this week to end, yunno?”

“I’ll have to get in a routine habit of taking cold showers, as much as I’ll likely think of you…” Erin trailed off, because she had considered that. She’d considered the adjustment period of going back to being single, throwing herself into her work, living in a city that was far enough away from Pittsburgh, but not far _enough_ to think maybe, just maybe, they could work something out, around the distance. But that seemed cruel, to string someone along, to put a college student through a long-distance _relationship_ with an older woman she’d met in Hawaii, and the last thing she wanted was to tether herself to Jillian’s honor and become an obligation when the blonde would have… options. Better ones, likely, than her.

“I’ll never forget you,” the blonde swore, and when she said it like that – a hushed whisper that raked along a voice that was almost musical, clearer than her voice had allowed in hours, Erin could feel her eyes sting a bit, welling up with tears that she refused to let fall.

“And you think I’ll forget you? You’re a character, Holtzmann, a memorable tear in the fabric of my boring reality, and this has been… amazing,” Erin said, leaning down to capture kiss-bruised lips for the thousandth time, knowing that a thousand more would never be enough, a million wouldn’t even begin to fill the void of absence she’d feel when she was back in New York, back at Columbia, thinking of all the times she could have kissed the charismatic blonde since they’d parted ways.

“It’s too early to talk about this shit,” the blonde decided, suddenly back to her whip-smart, playful self, as if she had compartmentalized her introspective melancholy and decided to stave off thoughts of the real world, of the life they’d both be going back to, just a little longer. “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”

Erin raised an eyebrow, then laughed.

“You’re using those wrong, you know.”

Holtzmann tilted her head to the side and started drawing small lines up and down Erin’s sides, just beyond the planes she’d learned were slightly ticklish, wanting to avoid a reaction she’d gotten before on accident where she’d almost been kicked in the face.

“What?”

“The idioms. It’s adorable, but you’re using them wrong.”

“Am I?” Jillian’s brow scrunched as if she was genuinely surprised, as if nobody had ever pointed it out to her before, and Erin laughed again, harder, and kissed the blonde’s nose.

“I like it.”

It was amazing how well they _fit_ together, how Erin’s longer, leaner body was the perfect counterpart to Jillian’s smaller frame. Jillian had more muscle tone, a slightly more wicked dominant streak, but never turned down the opportunity to be held. Likewise, when Erin curled up in the blonde’s arms, she felt at home even though the blonde was smaller and it seemed natural for her to be the ‘big spoon.’ The cuddling heated up after a few minutes, and they were shocked that their bodies could still respond to charged stimuli, to the promise of more sex, but they figured that perhaps something in them understood that they were living on borrowed time and decided to rally.

“I have an idea…” Erin purred into Jillian’s ear as she traced her tongue along the shell and allowed her breath to incite goosebumps over the co-ed’s flesh.

“Mm, I always like your ideas,” Holtz replied, her hands finding the sheets they’d been tangled up in and balling into fists, tearing the covering away from their nude bodies – they were seldom cold due to the weather and heat of each other, and even when they were at their most exposed, they never felt vulnerable.

“There’s a huge jacuzzi tub in the bathroom – it was one of the reasons why we upgraded. As much as I’d love to ravish you again right here, right now, we might need a little break, hmm?”

“Do you really think we’ll take a break if we get in that tub, Erin?”

The wicked curve of Holtz’s eyebrow when it arched cause an immediate throbbing in Erin’s nether regions. Apparently she wasn’t as tired as she thought.

“If you can keep your hands to yourself,” she replied.

 

* * *

 

 

As it turned out, Erin was the one who couldn’t keep her hands to herself. At first, Holtz had been distracted by the jets and the _bubbles_ along with the sublime feeling of being wet and warm and pressed against her lover’s body. It was another first, Erin learned, and Jill just had so many – it was, quietly, a goal of hers to take them all, or at least all the ones the roboticist would give.

The professor had briefly admonished the co-ed for splashing, but it really had been an adorably random impulse. Yet, the immediate quiet, the voluntary _submission_ and quiet, understanding voice Holtz had adopted when she apologized made Erin respond in ways that she’d never experienced with a lover before. It inspired two thoughts.

One, how quiet could Holtzmann be, if Erin asked.

Two, how well could Holtzmann behave for her, if Erin asked.

Immediately, her scientific mind decided to take these questions beyond the initial hypothesis she’d formed – it was very favorable to the blonde, who seemed quite adept at listening and following directions, and was only perhaps slighted by the roboticist’s occasional difficulty with sitting still and reigning in that manic energy that turned her into a little ball of wonder within seconds. It was youth, in part, but something that Erin suspected would follow the blonde into old age; she’d never seen such sunlight exist _inside_ a person before, such bright, warm energy that burst free from every pore, refusing to be fully harnessed or contained.

She already had ways to let Holtz pay her back for the pop quiz she intended to spring on the younger woman; surely, she’d want some sort of retaliation, as enjoyable as the switch in power dynamic was – it was constantly in flux, and they were, at the end of the day, equals despite everything that society supposedly thought separated them. That, alone, was exciting.

The two women got comfortable in the tub, and Erin had elected to pressing her back against the sides, making more than enough room for the blonde to lay pressed against her front, between her legs. It was bliss, for a while, and then something _shifted_ , and not just Jillian’s ass against her crotch, although there was that, too. Erin bit back a groan, trying to maintain her resolve even though her mind was flickering through ideas for the next round; they were thoughts that went hand-in-hand with her previous way of thinking, with all the experiments she wanted to try with her new lover, and she decided that they weren’t gaining time, they were losing it. Each passing second was one less to kiss, to touch, to take, to _act_ , and it made the professor bold all over again.

A strong hand started by moving over the blonde’s shoulder, first, washing her back with a soft sponge that had been squirted with fragrant body wash – Erin’s own – that smelled like jasmine. Jillian arched back into the contact, the length of her muscles visible under wet skin, sinewy and gorgeous as she moved and Erin dragged her fingertips over these muscles, massaging her, after she was sudsy and slick. After that, Erin took the time to wash Holtz’s hair, massaging her scalp, rinsing her clean, and it was all done with the utmost care; she made a point to show that it was more than just about raunchy sex, about random fucking, and maybe that was part of what terrified Erin most, that she didn’t want to draw that line, but Holtz wasn’t making any effort to correct her, nor did she see a similarly drawn line in the sand when the blonde moved to follow suit, treating the professor to the same care.

Once they were clean, the thread that had been keeping Erin tethered, the last strand of her precious self-control snapped when Holtz settled back down between her thighs and _moaned,_ and even if that sound wasn’t meant to be sexual – probably – it made her respond the same way her body did when Holtzmann moaned from being deep in the throes of pleasure, at the redhead’s behest.

“Do you feel better?” Erin asked, her voice low and smoky as she nuzzled the blonde’s neck.

“This vacation is the best thing to ever happen to me,” Holtz affirmed.

“Do you wanna feel _even better_?”

Even though she wasn’t looking at the younger woman’s face, Erin could feel the question settle into her shoulders, could feel the instinctive flex in her hands under the water and the way her body reacted to multitudes of thoughts that were permeating her brain.

“I would ask how that’s possible, but… I’ve learned a thing or two about you, Professor Gilbert,” Holtz replied after a few moments of still silence.

“Only one or two, huh?” Erin’s hands slid over Holtz’s shoulders, skimming the tops of her breasts that were out of the water before dipping lower, testing their weight in her hands and waiting to feel pebbled nipples scraping her palms; it only took seconds for her lover to respond. “You talked about making me bend for you once, but I want to see how you’ll react when the tables are turned, Jillian.”

“I’m not sure what you mean, I---“

Erin cut her off with a sharp bite to the top of her shoulder, right at the soft spot where it met her neck, digging a little deeper than she’d usually dare into the tendons and muscles, wanting the sting of pain to silence the blonde, just for a moment.

“You don’t have to know anything right now. Just _give_ ,” Erin said softly, soothing the spot she’d bitten by sliding slightly parted lips over it, breathing the words into dented skin where her teeth had left marks that would likely bruise. “Just give, beautiful, and let me _take_.”

“ _Oh_ ,” Holtzmann moaned as Erin’s fingers tweaked her nipples, gently at first, then building into rougher pinches, sharper tugs, and she soothed every bit of pain with excruciating tenderness immediately after, wanting to spike that lust only to bring her back down. Ebb and flow, like the tides.

“Quietly, though, lover. I want you to control yourself, be good for me,” Erin said, and she’d never dabbled with this kind of mild dominance before, but when Holtz seemed to respond so beautifully, she found that it was something she took a liking to, something she’d want to try again if it went over well, though it’d never be a permanent fixture to her bedroom persona. More likely, it was just an occasional mood that came over her because she was in a position of power – Jill wasn’t _really_ her student, but the dynamic did linger just beneath the surface – and she had age, wisdom, years of experience on the younger female. Holtz was learning, and already had some natural know-how to her skilled touches, but she made the rest up with enthusiasm and careful instruction. This time, Erin wanted to show her what it was like to be at someone’s mercy, at the hands of someone who could build and break.

“Uh-huh,” was the blonde’s immediate, quiet reply as her head lolled back against the redhead, who left one hand on Holtz’s left breast while her dominant head trailed lower, to the apex of the co-ed’s thighs, skirting up one, then the other, then repeating.

“You’ll do that for me? It’ll make me so happy if you do,” Erin cooed. “I know what a good girl you can be, Jillian. I just want you to _prove_ it.”

“ _Yess_ ,” the blonde hissed when Erin’s hand reached her epicenter, when blunt nails trickled down neatly trimmed curls and fingertips padded and brushed against her swollen clit, just adding pressure before she started to move, teasing the tip, the sides, pinching and rolling it slowly between her thumb and index finger, varying the speed, the intervals, and watching carefully for reactions, for positive or negative results, for anything, and even though Holtz gave quietly, she _gave_.

 

* * *

 

 

She’d had to stop halfway through – and Jillian had protested, but respectfully, a submissive coo that lit her nerves on fire – to add more hot water to their tub, but as soon as they were comfortable again, Erin was on her like a shot, this time pulling the blonde into her lap like they’d done before, with their positions reversed, in the cove.

Jillian’s breasts were level with Erin’s mouth, and the professor took every advantage, licking and sucking at them, teasing the roboticist’s single, horizontal barbell that adorned one nipple – later, she thought to ask why she’d only pierced one – with more intense flicks of her tongue against the metal. Since she was determined to keep her sounds to a minimal volume, the blonde’s body turned into a live wire, as if electricity was jumping underneath her skin, and she writhed against Erin, her hips pressing and adding friction between them. Erin could feel the heat and the slick against her lower stomach as Jillian ground herself furiously against any part she could reach. The water added a level of difficulty, and for a minute, Erin thought about pushing her over to the jets and using that to her advantage, but it didn’t outweigh her need to be inside Holtz, buried deep.

“Tell me when it’s too much, okay?”

Jill’s eyes widened, noting the wording that her clever professor had chosen. Erin smiled, wickedly, in return, wanting her to know that she had heard correctly and inferred the same.

It wasn’t a matter of _if_ , it was a matter of _when_.

“Okay,” she whispered, leaning forward to kiss the redhead’s jawline as Erin’s hand slid up her thigh again, and it was the next part that she whispered that made the redhead’s heart swell to gargantuan proportions; it was so sweet, so perfect, so unexpectedly beautiful. “I trust you.”

Erin started slowly, sliding two fingers inside the blonde to the hilt, allowing her to adjust. Holtzmann was inexperienced, she knew, but she’d joked once in their interim moments, their recovery time, about occasionally being a ‘chronic masturbator,’ so the redhead didn’t worry as much at this point. After a brief adjustment period, she’d be good to go. Erin waited for that tell, a shakily exhaled breath and eye contact that told her to _move_ , and then she did, keeping her thrusts slow, but making sure they hit home on every inward stroke. Each push in was far from gentle, and the water splashed around them, but when Jillian assisted by moving her hips upward, by rocking a little further up on her knees, Erin fucked her harder, glad that her lover had been so willing to assist without direction.

It was raw, blind need for both women.

Since they started, that was _exactly_ what it had been.

She imagined that would be how it’d stay, and when they parted, it would remain there, under her skin like a soul-deep brand. She’d leave vacation changed, and she’d leave a part of herself behind, on the island, with Jillian.

Holtz started moving with her thrusts, and Erin found herself sliding with ease through the arousal between the blonde’s legs. Her internal walls tightened around questing digits, strong pulses that sucked her deeper even though there was no physical way for her to reach the depths her lover craved – not with her fingers, at least – and so she added a third, knowing that the additional girth would suffice.

 _“Ah_ , _fuck_ ,” Jillian breathed out sharply, a little louder than any of the noises she’d make thus far, and it cracked the quiet and the stillness. Erin admonished her with a bite to her clavicle, a stern look, and a ‘tsk’ sound.

“Quiet, Jillian, or I’ll stop,” Erin swore, and the blonde bit down hard on her bottom lip, swallowing her next moan as it erupted, muffled against her pursed lips. Her eyes rolled back in her head when Erin resumed the speed and ferocity of before, then they fluttered closed. Her abdomen trembled, her hands gripped Erin’s shoulders tightly, thighs quivered, and she almost lost her purchased entirely while her legs seemed to turn, at least temporarily, into jelly. A swift arm moved around her waist, rooting her to the spot, and Erin’s free hand took a bracing purchase on Jillian’s hip, pulling as she pushed upward, keeping her secured to the depths Erin could reach.

The blonde’s brow knit with ecstasy, a quiet plea left her lips, swears chimed behind her eyes while her mouth remained wordless, and she panted, her breaths ragged, into Erin’s neck as she slumped and shook.

She hadn’t claimed discomfort yet, and Erin didn’t dare another finger, but she sped up her pace, adding speed to the rough thrusts she had been conditioning Holtz’s body to accommodate.

“Mm, _that_ , that’s gonna be…” Jillian breathed out, and while she was saying _words_ this time, they were a soft whisper that was almost imperceptible. If Erin hadn’t been so in tune with the co-ed, she would have missed them entirely. “ _Hnng_ …”

The second moan was louder, because Erin curled her fingers abruptly, stroking a long swipe across her top wall, crooking fingers at a blistering speed against her g-spot, and the professor granted that noise.

“That’s your one, baby. Your only one,” she said, her own breath coming out in soft pants as her forearm ached with exertion, but it was such a sweet tinge of pain. She’d do this forever, if she could.

When Jillian came, she bit down on Erin’s bicep, doing anything and everything she could to stifle the need to scream out the older woman’s name. Abby would comment on the swollen, angry mark for the remainder of the vacation, and even when they arrived back in New York, that’s how dark it was, but in the moment, Erin knew she’d never want it to fade. She didn’t even care that it hurt like a bitch because Jillian was slick and tight around her fingers, rocking and whimpering around her, coiled like a viper, entirely lost to her own pleasure and then boneless. Still. Quiet.

_Exhausted._

 

* * *

 

 

So exhausted, Erin had to carry her to bed and let her rest for a few moments while she drained the tub and cleaned up some of the splashes that had escaped, despite their attempts not to make too much of a mess. She toweled off, combed her hair so she wouldn’t get tangles, and then made her way back to the bed where Holtzmann was propped up on one arm, staring at her, waiting.

“Can I ask why you’re looking at me like that?”

Had she really taken that long? She’d thought the blonde would nap a while, but then she realized that her bag was tipped over at the foot of the bed and thought for a moment that maybe the roboticist had gone through it, but then recalled that she’d almost tripped over it when they’d first got in, when they were in the process of tearing each other’s clothing off, _again_ , even though it was soaked and useless and they hadn’t even bothered to put it on properly in the first place. They’d dressed just enough to be decent as they walked, in public, back to the hotel. Jillian’s buttons had all been mismatched, showing her midriff in a way that was very appealing to Erin, but probably gave them away as they exited the beach.

“Something fell out of your bag,” Holtzmann said, raising an eyebrow in Erin’s direction.

The professor’s brow furrowed, and she tried to think about what could possibly inspire _that_ look in her young lover. She hadn’t packed anything _too_ scandalous, or so she thought, but then… _oh_ , she remembered.

“I’m not going to say anything about you going through my personal property, because it’s…”

Holtz laughed, a full belly laugh, because they both knew the professor wasn’t genuinely mad, just posturing, trying to recover from what she already knew happened.

“It was laying in the middle of the floor. I’m surprised you didn’t notice before.”

“I was kind of _busy_ , if you recall.”

“I thought you said you were trying to get some on this vacation, Erin,” Holtz said, because she had confessed that, at one point, her intentions to ‘get under someone else’ and the blonde had found it hysterical, because her friend had the same intentions in bringing her there. Luckily for them, they’d found each other, and had no need to look for another ‘someone’ since.

“And?” Erin crossed her arms over her naked chest, defensively.

“Why’d you need a vibrator?”

“Need is… is a very strong word, Holtz, it was just a…”

“It looks fun,” Holtz said, interrupting her before pulling the thick, purple toy out from behind her and balancing it in her hands. Erin should have been irritated, but somehow, the sight of the blonde holding one of her _personal_ items was… hot. “You aren’t awkward about traveling with this? TSA never thought it was a deadly weapon? It’s kind of… _big_.”

The teasing made Erin flush, because _yes_ , she knew there was nothing wrong with owning sex toys. She had more at home and they were nice when she was home alone and her hands just weren’t doing it – it was perfectly healthy, and when she looked back at the blonde, she noted the lust that had rekindled in blue eyes and smirked.

“Have _you_ ever used one?”

“I, um…”

Her eyes went down to the floor and her hands released the toy.

Erin had meant it to throw her off-balance, and for a moment, she had been successful. She could have retaliated, sparked her own brand of teasing and lofted it at her lover, or even used the toy on herself without letting Jillian _touch_ just because she’d been naughty, but she got an even better idea.

“Opportunity knocks, Holtzmann.”

The roboticist looked up at her, and her mouth dropped open as Erin walked toward the bed, sat next to her, then reclined, keeping the toy on the bed between them.

“I’m not sure I can---“

“Oh, baby, not _you_ ,” Erin said with a smirk. “You got me all kinds of wet for you, back there, in the tub… time to return the favor, wouldn’t you say?”

 

* * *

 

 

The toy was basically a large, vibrating dildo. Holtzmann had figured the device out, technically-speaking, in seconds of holding it. She’d found the cap at the bottom that unscrewed to put the batteries in, and found a small button that was wedged underneath the soft silicone, near the base, for activating the vibration. It had three speeds, and the head oscillated slightly on the third. It all seemed very basic, but the way the toy was ridged and curved, she knew from her understanding of female anatomy, would likely be _very_ effective.

Not to mention, it was girthy and long, but not massive enough to be a gag gift rather than an instrument of pleasure.

When she held it, when Erin showed her how it worked – even though she’d already figured it out – Holtzmann felt… sexy. Powerful. She understood why Erin had been so delighted by taking control of her, earlier, in the bath because it was exhilarating, to feel like you were solely responsible for someone’s pleasure, for ushering them toward a climax and caring for them at their most vulnerable, but also having the ability and the power to make it _stop_ any time. For any reason. There was trust and there was power to be had in submission, because one couldn’t function without the other; it was a balance, and when she was given the power instead of being expected to give, she was renewed and strengthened, emboldened, and felt like a new woman.

If that hadn’t worked, the look on the redhead’s face when she laid out, legs splayed open, heat and _need_ darkening her eyes, and approached her with the toy gave the blonde enough confidence to last a lifetime.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” Holtzmann moaned as she appraised the professor, slowly, raking her eyes up and down every curve, analyzing each facet of a body that she’d already explored, inside and out, so many times and yet needed to explore so many more.

Opportunity _did_ knock, it seemed.

But when Holtz placed the toy at Erin’s entrance, just barely slicking it through her soaked folds, it arrived with a keening groan.

“Don’t _tease_ , Jill,” Erin begged, gasping softly as the blonde continued her slow movements up and down her slit. There was little in the way of pressure, and she hadn’t even turned the vibrations on, but it was the promise of penetration, and she knew it was enough to keep the gorgeous professor on pins and needles, aching in her anticipation as her body arched and tried to press closer to the barely-there contact as if she could sway the roboticist to bend for her, again.

“What, you don’t wanna be good for me?”

Holtz waggled her brows and Erin huffed, a frustrated sigh leaving her before Holtz reacted, responded, and pressed the tip inside, giving the woman beneath her a moment to adjust as her head fell back and mouth opened for a silent scream.

“Now, now, I didn’t say _you_ had to be quiet. In fact, I don’t want you to be quiet,” Jillian said, pushing in until the vibrator was halfway inside, waited a beat, and then pressed it flush, all the way it could reach, and watched the woman beneath her come apart. Her abdomen quivered, light muscle spasms isolating the definition there, and her legs spread _wider_ , bending at the knees, and Jillian pushed them up further, toward her head, and leaned forward on one arm while the other gripped the toy that was already dripping with Erin’s arousal. Her finger slid across the button and pressed, starting the first level of vibration, and Erin shuddered, clutching at the headboard desperately as her hands fought for an appropriate purchase. Jillian thought she heard it creaking under the strain, but didn’t care, didn’t think to care, and started thrusting instead.

 

* * *

 

 

Level two brought out an animalistic side of Erin Gilbert.

The pace was still slow and lazy inside of her, but it was _deep_ when Jillian made sure the toy bottomed out with every thrust.

Her legs wrapped around Holtzmann, pulling her forward desperately in a way that allowed her hips to fall behind her hands, but that gave the roboticist an advantage again, and Holtz wondered if it was intentional because Erin _always_ seemed to know what she was doing in the bedroom, and now she could rock and _thrust_ behind the toy, almost as if it was… almost as if it was attached to her, and that thought made her quiver.

 _“Jillian,_ how are you even…?”

“Shh, just feel,” the blonde instructed, speeding up the pace with newfound strength behind the thrust courtesy of her hips, and delighted at the smell of Erin hitting the air when she spread further, when she got wetter, hotter, her body feeling like an inferno beneath the blonde as she climbed higher and higher.

 

* * *

 

 

Level three was probably too much, but Jillian took her there anyway, and she fucked her _hard_.

The sound of wet thrusting was all that filled the room for a moment, and she thought Erin was being quiet, _too_ quiet with her fists balled up into the sheets, her eyes scrunched tight, closed and her face contorting with expressions she’d never seen before.

“Are you okay?” Jill whispered, suddenly concerned about these new reactions, and then slowed her thrusts, preparing to turn the vibrations off, just for a second, and regroup, but as soon as the thought passed her mind, Erin’s hand flung from the headboard and covered Holtz’s, taking control just in time for the blonde to thrust inside her once more, and harder than Jill would have been able to do on her own. Holtzmann looked between them, at their conjoined hands and the purple vibrator fully sheathed inside Erin, who was red and splotchy all over, covered in marks and bruises and heat spots from her arousal that was flooding her, overpowering her, and she’d never been more beautiful.

She’d thought nothing could be a greater sight until she looked up at Erin’s face and saw her thoroughly debauched. Her blue eyes were glassy, but they were open. Her jaw was slack and her mouth was swollen, kiss-bruised, and lips still glossy. Her make-up had faded in spots, but it was still present in others, but her skin had this natural glow that was better than anything money could buy.

Erin smiled at her, just for a second, and nodded.

“Keep going,” she demanded, brokenly, and shoved her hips downward.

It was the last instruction she had to give before Jillian tore her apart and left her floating in free-moving particles all throughout the stratosphere.

 

* * *

 

 

Afterward, the world was silent.

They watched another sunrise, together, wrapped in each other’s arms.

And then, they slept.

They slept better than either woman had in years, or maybe – if they dared – in their entire lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am honored and humbled about the response this story has gotten. I wasn't sure about it, at all, when the idea popped into my head, but it's actually something I'm really proud of writing, even if it is basically nearing 20,000 words of smut. I guess that's a milestone, kind of? It sort of has a plot, and that's how I'm justifying it to myself (and apologizing to my editor because writing Holtzbert like this is addictive). You guys fuel me, and your support means everything. THANK YOU for taking the time to leave me kudos and feedback, and please send more of it, kthanks. <3


	4. Love I Meant To Say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a wild, beautiful ride. This story ended up being so much more than I'd anticipated when I started it, and while this ending is only a temporary ending - I'm gonna do that spin-off you've been requesting, it was a hard one to write. I hate breaking hearts, but sometimes it's necessary to build a brighter future. Sometimes things can't all be perfect sunshine and happiness. Sometimes things don't last. Also, I do love my angst, so I hope you'll enjoy some angst - and a little bit of steamy goodness - to finish this baby out.

The week went by just as Holtzmann expected it might – in a beautiful blur. Yet, at every turn, she tried her best to memorize every detail and commit to memory. Holtz had a good memory, prided herself on her ability to memorize complicated formulas and equations, but even she was at a loss to retain Erin Gilbert in her full, _spectacular_ glory. After day four, the roboticist came to terms with the fact that she’d have to settle for full color and maybe a hint or two of sound instead of deeper, more immersive detail – oh, she wanted it all; Holtz wanted lights, sound, and color, just like she was playing back a recording of the events, all the nights and days and afternoons they’d shared in full, X-rated glory.

But she wasn’t so lucky.

Luck only stretched so far, and given how fortunate she considered herself that her path had even _crossed_ Erin’s in the first place, that they’d managed to co-exist on the same resort, on the same island, at the same time… she’d already exhausted her share of good fortune, as far as the blonde was concerned. As every day passed, vacation became more and more bittersweet – bordering on bitter as she watched the sun set with Erin for the sixth time – because this _had_ been exactly what she’d needed, but not just a temporary fix. It wasn’t a balm to patch her broken heart, as Patty had intended, but an integral piece to make it stronger than it had ever been before.

Erin made her confident, made her feel like she was _sexy_ and _perfect_ , and Holtz could live off the way the professor smiled at her forever. On the fourth day, the two women finally lacked the strength in their bodies to keep up their sex marathon, so they emerged from Erin’s hotel room and planned to meet up with their friends, together. Abby and Patty had gotten along immediately, and within an hour, the four of them were chatting like old friends, making jokes and cross-talk around the table while they had lunch and went off to find adventures.

Abby and Patty saw the way their friends looked at each other, but said nothing.

Every time Erin and Holtz’s eyes met, it started to look a little less like lust and a little more like something… _else_ , something that neither of them needed at this juncture of their lives, especially since their lives were so separate, but couldn’t seem to avoid anyway.

Holtz and Erin saw it, too, and it seemed ridiculous, the notion that you could fall in love with someone in a week. What did they know about each other, anyway? They’d touched on the basics – careers, goals, likes, dislikes – and they knew each other’s bodies inside and out, but how could it be love when it didn’t extend deeper?

And yet… all it took was a brush of Erin’s fingertips along the backside of her arm when they were standing in line for shaved ice with Abby and Patty, trying to keep as PG-13 – because PG was _impossible_ – in public as they could manage.

A single smile, lopsided and quizzical, when Holtz decided to cannonball into a kiddie pool without even caring that the water was only three feet deep and there were children everywhere.

It was basic, a glance that held for three seconds too long when Erin discovered that Holtzmann emerged from the bar with two Malibu and Pineapples when she’d been in the restroom because the roboticist had wanted to save her the trouble of waiting in line.

It was chemistry, at its thickest, most potent point when Erin scooted into Holtzmann’s personal space while the four of them sat around a fire pit, having crashed another beach party that was mostly college kids, and the blonde responded by immediately placing her hand on the professor’s knee, drawing circles up and down, lazy patterns that made the entire world fall away until it was just them.

Patty and Abby had shooed them away about ten minutes later when their carefully constructed PG-13 bordered on R.

Their connection was magical, long nights spent gasping into each other’s mouths as hands wandered and mouths staked claim, because at some point, they’d stopped taking turns and learned how to make love _together_ , a singular unit that functioned like a _well-oiled_ – Holtz had coined that double entendre, much to Erin’s chagrin, _very_ early – machine.

They could communicate with a look.

They could finish each other’s sentences, sometimes.

Erin started using Holtzmann’s broken idioms without even realizing she’d done so, and then struggled to think of the proper way when Abby picked up on it.

She couldn’t remember anything before those broken little phrases, mismatched and quirky, and the most terrifying realization of the entire week landed upon her suddenly, because the professor thought that maybe her entire life had been building up to this moment, and she’d have to let it go because of timing and circumstance.

For the first time in her entire life, Holtzmann dreaded going back to school.

She barely thought of her lab, her research, her experiments, all those lovely little projects that had been calling to her from the second she stepped off the plane because she’d expected to have a good time, but not a _great_ one – she could multi-task, she’d thought, think about work and make some time to play simultaneously, because her mind just worked with that sort of singularity.

Patty mentioned her research at one point, to Abby, and Holtz had been asked to elaborate, then found herself drawing a blank before she muttered a ‘ _robots that work with gravitational force’_ and _‘the programming’s going to be the hardest part_ ’ when before, she would have found a cocktail napkin and drawn out diagrams and equations and gone through every pain-staking detail at the first sign of interest from another intelligent lifeform, but now… now, she just wanted to hold Erin’s hand.

And that was probably dangerous.

Dangerous and stupid.

Holtzmann had never craved the mundane, and a part of her knew that someone as brilliant as Erin would never, _ever_ want her to sacrifice her education or her career, her hopes and dreams, for a romantic entanglement – they could work it out, make time for each other as they managed, and be grateful when they did get to be together.

But Erin was so focused on her future that she wouldn’t bend at all.

_Just the week_ , she kept saying.

_We’ll make the most of the time we have_ , became Holtz’s least favorite phrase on the planet.

Eventually, Erin’s words shifted, but it didn’t do either of them a bit of good.

_I don’t know how I’ll bring myself to say goodbye to you._

Holtz didn’t know, either.

Eventually, Patty and Abby ended up bunking together in what should have been Holtz’s hotel room with her best friend, out of necessity if they ever wanted a bed to sleep in that was their own, and mostly to give their friends space to finish out whatever was transpiring between them in relative peace.

Holtzmann woke up, warm and sleepy on the seventh day with Erin’s head nestled against her chest, an arm slung protectively around her waist, and legs entangled with her own. They usually woke up like this, like it was the most natural position in the world, and after a lifetime of sleeping poorly because her mind was just too active, the roboticist learned that this was the key to a proper night’s rest.

That, and exhaustion from strenuous physical activity the night – and most of the morning – before.

She wanted to sleep in, wanted to laze around in bed with the professor for as long as she could, like the world had cloaked its serenity around them and decided they could slow time or even stop it, just for a little while, but she couldn’t. Her eyes glanced toward the alarm clock on the nightstand, and read the digital numbers.

_Her flight was in eight hours_.

“Erin, wake up,” Holtz said, her voice lacking the quiet, gentle tone the professor usually deployed to ease her from slumber when the older woman woke up first.

“Mm, you’re so comfortable, I don’t want to wake up,” Erin mumbled, kissing Holtz’s sternum and snuggling deeper into the blonde’s arms. Holtz smiled, a goofy, delighted grin and then felt her heart start to crumble in her chest like someone had gripped it so hard, it turned to dust, collapsing under the pressure.

_Eight hours, and this would be goodbye._

“We have things to do today, remember?”

Because they did.

They’d planned a hike up to a waterfall with Abby and Patty, because they weren’t going to be so selfish that they’d leave their friends out just so they could spend their last day in Hawaii together. Both Erin and Holtz knew their friends wouldn’t question it if they did, but they’d considered it and thought better of it; they could share, after all.

After that, they were going to hit the water park – for Holtzmann – one last time.

Dinner would follow and then… then they had an evening flight out, a long red-eye that would put them back home at an ungodly hour.

Erin’s left a half an hour after hers.

“If it involves leaving this bed while you’re naked, I’ve changed my mind.”

“You’re not allowed to change your mind, hot stuff,” Holtz teased, trailing her fingertips along Erin’s ribcage before she tickled her, mercilessly, enduring the onslaught of long, lean limbs that flailed and kicked before they both burst out into laughter.

“Okay, okay, I surrender!”

Holtz flipped them over and pinned Erin’s hands beneath her. They were panting, eyes dark, bodies close together, and Erin’s hips rocked up knowingly. Holtzmann groaned, because they didn’t have time for _that_ right now, either.

“Itinerary. Plans. Shower,” she said, crossing items off on a mental checklist even though her body was helpless when it came to the redhead.

“A long shower or a short one?”

Holtzmann winked.

“It depends on how quickly we get out of bed.”

 

* * *

 

 

The hike was beautiful, idyllic, the perfect end to a perfect trip.

Holtzmann blazed a trail ahead with Erin hot on her heels. She swung from low-hanging branches with surprising grace and made _Indiana Jones_ and _George of the Jungle_ jokes that had Erin laughing until her sides hurt as well as worrying for the rambunctious blonde’s safety.

Patty and Abby weren’t far behind, but they were stopping to see the sights, taking lots of pictures, while Erin and Holtz were determined to just… be. They’d taken a few pictures, here and there, but most of the time they were content to take mental snapshots. Sometimes, they felt like just keeping the island to themselves, memories that would be private and sacred, just for them.

Holtz jumped off one of the cliffs into crystal water below, having done the research beforehand and finding that it was the quickest way to get back near where they’d started their hike; per some of the local guides, it was a rite of passage, a major attraction to tourists who ‘always wanted to live out that scene in a movie’ and she wasn’t going to leave Hawaii without doing it.

It took her forty-five minutes to talk the others into jumping, but the other three joined her in the water eventually. Erin kissed her furiously, as if she’d seen her life flash before her eyes while she’d jumped, when she splashed beside her lover in the water below.

Before they went to brunch, Abby and Patty excused themselves when they caught Erin and Holtz making out as they swam back to shore, stopping to playfully dunk each other under the water in between passionate kisses, and said they’d go ahead and meet them at the spot they’d picked out the day before.

As soon as their friends were out of sight, Holtz’s hands were blazing a trail underneath Erin’s bikini bottoms, easing fingers inside her as they rocked together. Treading water with a person around her waist wasn’t the easiest thing she’d ever attempted, but Holtz was fired up by the sounds Erin made as she showcased her strength, arms flexing around the older woman as she supported them and kept their heads mostly above water until Erin gripped her fingers hard – so hard that it was almost hard to keep thrusting – and exploded around her.

 

* * *

 

 

Brunch was a reprieve, a chance for them to get their bearings and get some energy, nourishment that their bodies desperately needed since the two women were unable to sustain themselves by devouring each other.

“I still can’t believe you talked me into jumpin’, Holtzy,” Patty muttered as she downed a mimosa in seconds. “Took me three of these just to stop my hands from shakin’.”

“Aw, you had a blast and you know it,” Holtz chided, smoothing her thumb over the back of Erin’s hands from where they sat, interlaced, on the table between them.

“It was pretty cool,” Patty conceded.

“Sorry it took us so long to get here,” Erin said, because she knew Holtz had no intention of apologizing.

“We just figured you were a little _wrapped up_ ,” Abby said, winking at her friend.

“Yeah, that was super unsubtle,” Erin said, blushing.

“I mean, you might as well have just said we were banging, and…”

“Holtzy!”

Everyone started laughing at the exchange, then tucked into their lunch when food arrived.

 

* * *

 

 

After their meal, Erin excused herself to use the restroom. Abby and Patty exchanged a glance when Holtz’s lame excuse as to why she should also head that way was wrought with holes – her intention was painfully clear, especially because Erin’s hand had slipped under the table about halfway through their meal, and nobody said anything, but Holtzmann – effervescent, overly talkative Holtzmann – bordered on dead silence as she picked at her wrap with a fork for a solid twenty minutes.

“So, we’ll meet you two at the water park, then?”

“Nah, it’s just the bathroom, I mean… I’m not gonna take an _eternity_ ,” Holtz replied, waving her hands around after Abby’s suggestion. “This is all clockwork.”

She scampered away, eyes blazing a hot trail after Erin, and Patty shook her head.

“Yeah, they’re gonna be a little while.”

 

* * *

 

 

“How could you _do_ that to me with our friends around? Naughty,” Holtz groaned into Erin’s mouth as they kissed against the bathroom door. It was a single stall, but there were other restrooms nearby for other people, not that they cared. Erin’s hands braced the blonde’s hips against the door and she picked the roboticist up with relative ease, encouraging the smaller woman to wrap legs around her waist.

“I couldn’t help myself,” Erin said, but her words didn’t house any tone of apology. “Besides, I think you got off on the thrill, just a little bit.”

“Um, Erin, you were purposefully trying to make sure I _didn’t_ get off. You know what makes me tick by now,” Holtz protested as Erin’s hands skimmed her breasts, resulting in a small squeak of desire.

“Okay, so maybe I was, but I’ll make it up to you,” the professor promised as she untied Holtz’s board shorts and slid her hand between them, under the material, and not stopping until she found dripping heat. “God, you’re _soaked_.”

“Uh-huh. Now get on with the making it up to me part already,” the blonde sighed, her eyes alight with raw, hungry need as she canted down against Erin’s questing fingers which were _still_ teasing instead of giving her what she needed. Seconds later, the professor complied, pushing Holtz’s hips down into her fingers before she used the leverage – and the door – to keep her effectively pinned so her hand could start motions like a piston – hard, fast, and unyielding – inside the blonde.

Three orgasms later, they emerged, the drawstring of Holtz’s shorts untied around her waist because she barely had the energy to fix them. Her already messy hairstyle was unmistakably ‘sex hair’ and a glassy look in her eyes completed the look. Erin’s face was smug as she winked at a lady who stood there, gawking at them – she’d probably been the one pounding on the door earlier, but even that hadn’t been enough to stop or slow Erin’s pace as she ‘made it up’ to Holtzmann.

Hey, they were on _vacation_.

“Holtz, tie your pants,” she instructed, placing a hand on her lover’s waist so the already loose shorts didn’t fall around her ankles – they were starting to sag a little, just barely – as they made their way toward the water park.

 

* * *

 

 

The park was mostly PG rated play – there were _kids_ around – but surely enough, the blonde found a spot that was tucked away, well beyond the perimeter of the lazy river that was covered in trees and other tropical plant life. After four rotations on their inner tubes, she suggested they ‘pull over’ since Patty and Abby had floated next to two guys and were chatting them up, perhaps trying to attempt a shot at last-minute island nookie, and gestured to the spot, eyebrows raised.

“Someone will _definitely_ see us,” Erin said, swatting the blonde’s arms as she waggled those brows anyway, suggestively.

“I’ve checked. Four times now. It’s pretty private, trust me,” Holtzmann said, and Erin wasn’t sure she should, but their fifth time around, they passed the spot and she changed her mind.

Holtzmann wedged Erin’s inner tube against one of the trees, making sure they ducked behind it so people wouldn’t see as they floated past.

“You’re going to have to be quiet, you know,” Holtz said, sounding a little disappointed as she positioned herself on her stomach, flat against the bottom of the tube, with Erin’s legs on either side of her head.

“I know,” Erin said, but moaned when a heated mouth and wet tongue slid up her inner thighs.

“Sex in public gets you pretty hot, huh?”

“ _You_ get me pretty hot,” Erin said, and moaned again – louder, the second time – which made Holtz press her hand to the professor’s mouth, because the last thing she wanted to do was get kicked out for public indecency, even though it’d leave her with a _great_ story in her back pocket. She’d never hear the end of it from Patty.

 

* * *

 

 

When they made it back to the lazy river, Holtz had teeth marks in her hand and a satisfied smile on her face. They floated next to Abby and Patty, who looked at them knowingly, and Erin puffed out her chest and broke the silence.

“ _What_?”

“We totally saw your leg sticking out from behind one of the trees, just over there, about ten minutes ago,” Abby said, chuckling.

“No… it was… it wasn’t _me_ ,” Erin replied, and Holtz snickered against her forearm, loving the blush that crawled up the redhead’s chest.

“Holtz, have I ever told you that Erin and I have matching tattoos on our ankles? We got them after we graduated high school,” Abby said, and Holtz leaned in a little, obviously keen about learning this new factoid about her professor. She knew the tattoo, had seen it, kissed it, and found that Erin’s ankles were oddly sensitive.

“Oh, the Delta?”

“Yeah, we got it because it frequently denotes change, in physics, and we knew life would always be a changing variable, but our friendship never would,” Erin said, smiling fondly at the brunette, who continued to look at her with a raised brow. Then, the meaning of the story dawned on her. “Oh, shit.”

“Have fun, Gilbert?”

“She’s a kicker,” Holtz grinned.

“Holtzmann, are those _teeth marks_ in your palm?” Patty asked, grabbing the blonde’s wrist and pulling it toward her for closer inspection. “Y’all are into some _kinky_ shit, I mean _damn_ …”

That time, it was Erin’s turn to laugh as Holtz fidgeted in her inner tube and tried to dodge her friend’s many, _many_ comments on that very subject.

 

* * *

 

 

After the water park, Erin and Holtz asked Patty and Abby if they could have a little bit of alone time, and promised to meet them at the front desk for check-out just after sunset. Erin took Holtz to the cliff side just above the cove they’d found on their second night together; it was just as magical right during the daylight, even though their hours of sunshine were fading. The air was already turning thinner, just a twinge of cold that came with the sun that, in her opinion, was setting too quickly.

Holtz’s hand seemed fused to hers, and no matter what they did, the roboticist seemed determined to keep that connection as long as she could. When they found a comfortable spot on the cliff, Erin sat with her back against Holtz’s chest, between the smaller woman’s legs, enjoying the warmth of Holtz’s arms wrapped around her. Their eyes were both on the horizon, as if they were counting down the last remnants of their time together while it trickled, just like sand in an hourglass. It was painful, each passing second, but the moments still tasted of bliss.

“What are you going to do when you get home?” Holtz asked, as if the basic question didn’t house some other, deeper meaning.

Erin chuckled, but it didn’t house the same humor as her usual laughter. It got stuck somewhere in her chest, and she nuzzled the blonde’s hand, sighing into her lover’s embrace as she realized there was no point in pulling punches, even if it made them sad.

“Cry, probably. Get my lesson plans back together. I go back on Monday,” she said, knowing that the day and a half stretch between leaving Hawaii and re-entering her classroom was going to be spent in painful stoicism; she couldn’t wait to at least have an opportunity to throw herself into work, because that at least had a chance to take her mind off… everything.

“Me, too.”

She suspected Holtzmann was thinking of her lab, for the same reasons.

For a second, Erin wanted to suggest that they call or write – they had each other’s phone numbers, it wouldn’t be too difficult to stay in touch, if they really wanted.

_But to what end, Gilbert? She’s still in college, that’s where her focus needs to be, not on you. Not on this._

“You’re going to be awesome at building robots in space someday,” Erin whispered into the blonde’s hair. “There’s a bright future ahead of you.”

“They’d be stupid not to offer you tenure,” Holtz said, her voice cracking, just a little. “Columbia is lucky to have someone who cares like you do, someone so passionate.”

“NASA doesn’t know what they’re in for,” she laughed, because the feisty little blonde with all her precious peculiarities would be an odd fit, and yet… somehow she just seemed to make a space for herself wherever she went, if she so desired. Erin hadn’t come to Hawaii with room in her heart for anything more than light-hearted fun, and yet Holtzmann had dug her way in, making space, carving it out and building a home there.

“Maybe I’ll visit New York someday,” Holtz replied, but her voice seemed far away.

“You’re welcome to look me up, if you do… if you want,” Erin said, because that was the best ‘invitation’ for a future that she could think about offering.

Holtzmann wanted to press harder, wanted to try to convince the professor that they could make it work, but she knew that Erin’s mind was almost singularly focused on molding the brilliant minds of young people, and knew enough to understand that she’d see anything beyond this point as holding Holtz back – even if she wasn’t, or wouldn’t. It would be beautiful for a while, but it’d be messy.

“Of course I’d want to, are you kidding?”

“I’m not going to assume. Who knows what the future has in store, for either of us?”

Neither woman would have ever guessed that a vacation to get them laid in Hawaii would end like _this_.

Erin cupped Holtzmann’s jaw and turned back, leaning up to kiss the blonde. It was slow, tender, full of all the promises they wanted to make and things they couldn’t bring themselves to say to one another. They kissed like it was the last time, because it probably was, and ended the exchange with all the heat and fire of their very first kiss. When they pulled back, two sets of blue eyes were wet with tears. Holtz rubbed Erin’s away, paying no mind to her own, and held the older woman just a little tighter. Erin burrowed into Holtz’s shoulder, clinging to the thin cotton of one of her nearly threadbare, obviously loved t-shirts.

“You’re going to make someone really happy someday, Jillian Holtzmann. When you find her, you make sure she’s _perfect_ , because that’s what you deserve,” Erin said, her heart breaking because she knew that ‘someone’ couldn’t be her.

“Could be you, someday. When things are… different,” Holtz said, her voice strong with determination, as if she intended to make this futuristic pipe dream a reality. Erin didn’t correct her, didn’t tell her that the odds seemed very much against them, because somewhere, she hoped that Holtz’s determination _would_ find a way to make it possible.

“I’d be a bad scientist if I said that was impossible,” Erin replied.

“There’s so much I wanna say, but…”

Erin pressed a finger to the blonde’s lips, smiling at her.

“I know.”

A second later, she turned back around and watched the sunset, carving that last detail into her memory before they had to say their goodbyes.

 

* * *

 

 

As they checked out of their hotel rooms, Holtzmann leaned on her suitcase, then met Erin’s eyes when the professor turned around, then extended her arms for an embrace. Abby and Patty hugged as well, a brief, happy exchange that was in stark contrast to the one Erin and Holtz shared.

Holtzmann’s arms slid around Erin’s waist for the last time and they stood there, staring at each other, their breathing ragged as they fought back tears.

“Thank you,” Holtz said, her voice barely above a whisper. “For everything.”

It seemed to be an odd goodbye, but from the roboticist, it made sense. Their time spent together had been an unexpected gift, something that had forever altered the course of her life, had changed her into a more confident, powerful version of her previous self.

“Be brilliant, Holtzmann,” Erin replied.

Then, after a second, they fell onto the same thought.

“I’ll miss you.”

Their words fell together, and both women laughed nervously afterward as their gaze flickered between locking eyes and lips that they longed to kiss, just once more, even though they both promised they wouldn’t.

“Yeah, I’m gonna kiss you again,” Holtz said a second later, tugging at Erin’s hips desperately as their mouths met.

The sounds of their quiet gasps and pounding hearts were the background track to a slow, deep kiss that seemed to last forever, and yet never long enough. Erin’s hands tangled in blonde hair and she pressed close, breathing in the roboticist and letting the final pieces of a concrete memory take place inside her brain, in a sanctuary she’d reserved for this week that would remain a monument, untouched by anyone else who would enter her life afterward.

When the kiss broke, Holtz sniffled, and Erin reluctantly pulled herself away, knowing that she would have to be the strong one. She was older, she knew better, and she was the one who refused to compromise such a bright future by being selfish. Abby gave her a sympathetic look, and Patty waited on stand-by, her face morphed into a compassionate expression because she _knew_ her friend was hurting.

“’Bye,” Holtz said, her fingers falling down Erin’s damp cheek before she took a step back and fell under the crook of Patty’s arm.

Patty gave Erin a small wave and then they disappeared past the sliding glass doors, out into the world.

Erin wrapped her arms around Abby, breathing a heavy sigh.

“Where’s more of your ‘ways to get over someone’ advice for this situation?”

Abby grabbed her friend’s hand and squeezed.

“This one is gonna take some time,” she responded. “C’mere, I’ll buy you booze on the plane.”

 

* * *

 

 

Holtzmann leaned her head against the window, desperate to feel the cool glass as the plane roared down the runway, at take-off. Her chest heaved as she watched the island lights disappearing as they breached a layer of clouds. Patty’s hand was on her leg, and she was stoic, silent. They sat that way for a few minutes, and then Patty spoke up, a sudden thought hitting her that she hoped might do something to ease her best friend’s sadness.

“You realize she never said goodbye to you, Holtzy?”

“Just ‘cause she didn’t say the words, Pattycakes, doesn’t mean that’s not what it was.”

“You think maybe it isn’t?”

A small smile touched the roboticist’s lips because she _knew_ hope was dangerous, and yet it was the only thing that kept her from breaking. She’d go on following the path she’d always intended, she couldn’t _not,_ but when she said she’d never forget Erin Gilbert, she’d meant it.

_You never forget your firsts_.

Maybe it was foolish to find her first love on an island, some fast-acting and slow-burning romance that was a little too surreal, almost like she’d dreamt it all.  

The universe worked in mysterious ways, and any good scientist knew there was so much more out there that they didn’t – and likely wouldn’t – understand.

“Maybe it isn’t,” Holtz said, touching the glass with callused fingertips before she allowed her body to relax, losing herself in memories of the best week of her life for the entire journey home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loved it? Hated it? Just want me to start the next one already? Please let me know. You all have been great, and I'm so grateful for your feedback. Thank you for taking the time to leave me comments, they're all cherished and keep my muse in proper working order. You really are the best readers a girl could ask for.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm intending this to be a 4-parter - they're all going to be long parts, too - and I have an inkling of an idea for a follow-up in the same series/universe if you really, really like this and want me to continue. So drop me a line, would you? It means so much. Thank you for taking the time to trudge through this. I really hope it's as great as I wanted it to be while I was writing it.


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